tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6479833358229068060.post6923317648976893516..comments2024-02-14T23:05:04.838-05:00Comments on <b>Welcome! To <i>BobKat's Lair ®...</i></b>: INSIDE BOBKAT'S LAIR - Part ThreeBobKathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11591749929142963330noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6479833358229068060.post-72742354889986150512010-01-04T20:07:37.651-05:002010-01-04T20:07:37.651-05:00Thank-you SlamDunk...
I believe we're "c...Thank-you SlamDunk...<br /><br />I believe we're "communicating"... your comment is also thought provoking. <br /><br />I think, I feel, your "system" is as a parent normally would raise a child... but I think, when child turns to teen, the rules change. And when the little bird is old enough to fly, they change yet again... and each of those levels, would require a different system.<br /><br />In my case level's one and two went well with my parents, they did a great job instilling sound, essential values and behaviors... they were always there for me... however the third level, when I flew off... well, let's just say there were <i>strings</i> attached. There always are. That's why either during level two or three, it is not unusual for the person to rebel. Why? They are flying away or testing their wings.<br /><br />It's for this reason, I think around 13, maybe 10 year's old, a parent needs to expect level two... where they become teenagers, no longer a child. They will be making decisions, and when they arrive at level three they're essentially on their own. Essentially... the definition of what it is to be over 18 is a wild topic... when I reached level three, at 18, it was legal to consume alcohol. By then my choices for how I live my life are predominately in my hands - 18, is only a number, the exact age of this transition is different for every person, obvious when thinking about it. But the decisions made by then came from the child/teenagers "relationship" with their parents, and the values, behaviors, and skills they instilled.<br /><br />I admit, my take on this may seem liberal. In many cultures the "family" is a structured, choreographed level three... the bird doesn't really fly off. That is what happened to those of the 1960' - 1970's... the age of birds... who found they couldn't fly. Which makes us more like penguins.<br /><br />Felt creative tonight! I'm not a parent so I have the luxury of thinking outside the box when parents are living it. Big difference.BobKathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11591749929142963330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6479833358229068060.post-67482203856821205342010-01-03T23:29:29.454-05:002010-01-03T23:29:29.454-05:00I think your parental advice comment is thought-pr...I think your parental advice comment is thought-provoking and on a subject that I have not fully considered enough to respond adequately. <br /><br />I think as parents, the groundwork with children starts immediately--certain values and behaviors are applauded and expectations are instilled. Communication, as you state, is always critical. <br /><br />Turning the "little birds" away from the nest to fly is difficult, but necessary. Personally, I don't expect to differentiate between what I would feel better with them experimenting with. <br /><br />In contrast, I hope to instill a focus (as is being done now) that thoughts and actions should be to benefit others rather than offering oneself temporary happiness. For instance, which students do I have more respect for: the group headed to Florida's beaches during Spring break or those that choose to spend their time on a service trip assisting others in an impoverished area? <br /><br />Sorry I am getting off topic, but I prefer to treat decision making as a system.Slamdunkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13087161268629251860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6479833358229068060.post-43309347125176829492010-01-01T09:51:17.500-05:002010-01-01T09:51:17.500-05:00I was very lucky! I was sick for a week. Even to t...I was very lucky! I was sick for a week. Even to this day I get nauseous at smell of creme de mint. <br /><br />I think what I experienced was a critical part of the growing up. I was lucky because I gave myself a near-lethal mix of alcohol. I had a good friend who got drunk around age 23, walked home, fell, face first in a puddle, and drowned. Dead.<br /><br />For one's parents, a society and cultures each have tried to and, felt obligated to, become involved in the Rite. What I mean is, it's natural for parents to not only dread the <i>Rite of Passage</i>, but to try to control it also. Here's where almost all parents and societies get it wrong... in my opinion.<br /><br />Some cultures have scripts they follow... the passage of a child into an adult. Depending upon how autonomous or isolated a culture, the script may work well for the child/adult in that society. In others, it's a sure thing the child/adult will rebel against ideas contrary to the beliefs and rules set upon them.<br /><br />In the case of my drinking rite at age 16... I think my parents should have set me down for a talk at around 13. On the list of topics: 1) Sex 2) Drugs. <br /><br />Sex... <i> we'll save that for another time</i><br /><br />Drugs: my parents: "BobKat, we know you may not really understand this topic yet, but we want to talk to you about drugs. You've probably heard the stories about the illegal ones, like marijuana, LSD, heroin... about those drugs... you'll have choices to make. Personally, as your parents, we won't be with you when you may be offered any of these drugs. You should probably excuse yourself, come home and tell us about it. But we know you probably won't. You may be presented with alcohol, or cigarettes. We have to tell you, of all of them, if, although we hope not, but if you give into temptation on any of them, marijuana is probably the safest one to use. But please, as your parents... let us know. We won't punish you for being honest. We are your parents and concerned about you... we want to see you grow old and wise.BobKathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11591749929142963330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6479833358229068060.post-86425769704283399002009-12-30T22:52:30.513-05:002009-12-30T22:52:30.513-05:00Glad your drinking story ended with just a groundi...Glad your drinking story ended with just a grounding. It is something as a parent of young children I am not looking forward to dealing with.Slamdunkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13087161268629251860noreply@blogger.com