"Dugout Dick", Died recently at age 94, Idaho's last of the River-Canyon Loners

I'm beginning a series on what it's like to be alone, which to some earns you a title as a "loner". As destiny would have it, I went to check my Yahoo personal's account, and found this article. It touched me deeply, as I am both, a loner and a guy that wants friends and lovers. At the moment I am pretty much a loner again. I may die that way, have no idea. Before I tell you more about me, the goal of my blog, after all, let's take a moment and give Dugout Dick a few moments of our time. See, he represents many things to many people... to some he's a non-conformist, and exactly the kind of person a capitalistic society doesn't need. To others he represents what's possible in America... freedom to live one's life as they chose, as long as they don't harm others.

A part of me as I suggested makes me wish I wasn't so entangled in my own web, that I could actually live out my next 30 - 50 years like Dugout Dick. Another part of me wants to build off of what I became in the mid to late 70's, then lost...

There are a lot of dynamics in life, no-matter where one lives. We're not truly "FREE" in America, no, we're not, but, we have options here that many in the world don't have. Education is a key to finding and using those options. But education in and of itself is not the key... one doesn't have to have a college degree to survive, to be happy. Rather, it's the heart and desire to learn, to learn to survive, and to survive in a way that satisfies one's soul that's important. And teaching that, especially in HS where the status quo and state regulations dictate learning, it's pretty difficult to develop one's own life. Was Dugout Dick really a loner? Or did he find true happiness?

Link to picture and story here: http://www.idahostatesman.com/2010/04/23/1164899/death-of-caveman-ends-an-era-in.html

EXPANDED/LEGALIZED GAMBLING FAILS in NH HOUSE

The NH House voted down passage of the "expanded gambling" bill today by a wide margin. It's the latest in a multi-year effort by special interest groups and certain politicians to open casinos in NH.

Gov. Lynch promised to veto it anyways if it reached his desk.

One supporter described the failure of the NH House to pass the bill said, simply, "they've condemned an airliner, that's run out of gas..."

My thought? That airliner should have planned more in advance. Apparently my elected officials, some of them, have been putting all their eggs in one basket. No surprise it's the NH Senate. They voted down the 1/4 oz bill that would have legalized cannabis.

What's ironic to me is, not only did the NH House vote in favor to legalize small amounts of cannabis, but they did so WITHOUT the influence of the highly paid lobbyists and big business interests that the gambling proponents employed.

Commonsense in politics - my hat off to the NH House!

That being said, gambling, like cannabis are a waste of time for my government to be taking up it's time with. Article 83 of the NH Constitution makes it clear that commerce and the arts are to be encouraged, and not restricted.

Personally, I have only scant interest in going to a casino near me. I do play online Texas hold'em, but I'm not playing against "a House", I'm playing pennies against other people with like interest. Casinos, my sister and her husband have one nearby... they go often. They win big sometimes, but they lose even bigger. Me... I've been to casinos, and it's addictive. Compared to at most $50 that often lasts a couple of months or more to play poker, casinos easily get that, X3, out of me in one visit. Some enjoy it, I don't.

Gambling, Cannabis, even Prostitution should be legal and regulated. Like our two closest neighbors, alcohol and tobacco.

For the state to want a cut of taxation riches by creating an instant highway to riches through "legalized slots" is ludicrous and irresponsible. That it's "illegal" at present is ridiculous.

It's sad really, that logic and common sense can't be a part of the law-making process. There seems to be a "what's in it for me" mentality in government. It's not a wonder to me that trust in the Federal government, and state governments are at an all time low? I don't fault President Obama... I saw the same thing when Jimmy Carter was President in the 70's...

If people want to gamble in a casino in NH, why not??? Why can't a town, county, or city make it's own decisions in the matter?

Who would have guessed that the 200 year old+ "DONT TREAD ON ME" motto would be so significant in the year 2010?

RECOMMENDED LINK:

Don't Tread on Me

The history of the Gadsden flag and how the rattlesnake became a symbol of American independence

SURVEY SAYS: What Does the Survey Say???

MSNBC - Today's near-headline news...

 TOPIC:  "Most in U.S. Against Legalizing Pot, Poll Shows" ***

 The poll was conducted by AP-CNBC.


Among the reasons: "fear of Reefer Madness", "fear that people will use it as an 'excuse' to avoid prosecution in crimes"; "fear of the unknown..." it suggested those "over 65 years of age were particularly concerned". And MSNBC added it's own poll... "Do You Think Marijuana Should Be Legal in the U.S.?", with quite the opposite results!

As of tonight there were 15,866 votes on the poll at MSNBC... of those votes, 13,567 are in favor of legalization! That's 85.5% that say yes!

7.6% say NO.

Hey, aren't we suppose to say "NO"???

In another example about how people want change... Change.Org has hundreds of petitions a year asking the public what's on their minds, what do they want to see changed? Of the hundreds of important and noble causes, the top-most petition for change goes to (Link to Change.org): "Legalizing  Medicinal and Recreational Use of Cannabis". Change.Org vows to follow through to the White house and other government to present the ten top-most petitions... this is the second year in a row cannabis reform has made the top ten.

Today on the steps of the State House in Concord, NH, over 100 supporters of legalized ganja sat on the steps and lit up... from inside the State House state police watched... no one was arrested that I've heard about, the statement from the state police was in the order of, "as long as they're peaceful..." well, ganja users are hardly aggressive... in fact, it must have taken a lot of motivation to get the stoners out of their crypts! The reason they are there is the Senate takes up the vote tonight to legalize possession of a 1/4 oz for adults, the bill the House voted overwhelmingly to approve. According to NHPR the bill is expected to fail, and if it does by chance pass, Gov. John Lynch is ready with his mighty pen to veto the bill"

... thank-you governor... you want a 4th term... you're not getting my vote!!!

For those of you unfamiliar with why this matters to me... a little history.

In the early 70's I was a complete loner; disillusioned with life; with education; I believe I was headed in one of two directions... towards suicide or a life as a serial killer - I hated people, I really did. I'd suffered a lot of bullying through much of my childhood and teenage years. I was an extreme example of a right-wing conservative... and I believed marijuana was an extremely dangerous drug!

Surprise... around 18 or 19 a close friend offered myself and another close friend some pot... Panama Red, drugs! I almost shouted "FIRE"... but stopped myself... and the three of us smoked it. What happened was the exact opposite of what I expected. For days after I kept waiting fearfully for the urge to shoot heroin, or to go through marijuana withdrawal. I felt extremely guilt-ridden, and confused. I used it again a week or so later, and each time I did, I felt more relaxed, and eventually more motivated... to face my fears.

My fears: people, education, and loneliness, and failure. Instead of becoming the "poster boy" for why marijuana is bad, I discovered my life turned around... and within a few short years I had more friends than I could spend time with, girlfriends, and my zest for education and knowledge did a 180 degree turn...  and I dove into it... I discovered, though life was difficult, it was a beautiful world... and i changed. I realized my years of anger and hatred were wrong, and misguided. I shudder to think of the person I may have become... a killer? I doubt it, but I really wasn't a happy guy. And I had literally no concept of my place in humanity, that I belonged - "like the trees and the stars".

To date I have three college degrees, a BA in English, AA in Liberal Arts, and AA in medical assisting, the later I graduated Magna Cum Laude, with a 3.9 gpa. I only admit that since my gpa in HS was around 2.3, my first couple years in college about the same, my BA, ten years later I was already up to a 3.0. Yeah, marijuana destroyed me alright...  not!

By the way... the historical reference to marijuana in the United States is ganja, not marijuana. And as long as news media refers to ganja as pot, we might just as well refer to alcohol as booze and moon-shine, and tobacco as cancer sticks. If anything should be regulated as a Schedule One Drug by the DEA it's tobacco... but that would assume our laws are just and rational, which they're not.

Is it any wonder the "Tea Party" is so vocal these days? Is it any wonder Second Amendment activists are holding rallies in Nation Forest near the White House?

The irony is, the other day I was part of a drug-free birthday party... aside from the cigarettes. And one of the partiers mentioned the reason pot should be illegal and prohibited is it's illegal. Wow. The bad thing about pot is it's illegal. And that makes it bad. Now that's logic for Americans to live by. Too bad it didn't work during Prohibition of alcohol, or in Wall St.

And if so many people are concerned about breaking the law, why during my daily 3 hour commute are there so many speeders and aggressive drivers on the highways? Why was one of  the liquor commissioners in NH arrested for DWI the other day?

The survey says there will always be those opposed to legalized cannabis, but the majority approve of it. It is a safer alternative and in fact does have clinically proven medical benefits... much as ginseng or St. John's Wort does. The fact that cannabis is a Schedule One controlled drug and tobacco is not should be a wake-up call to most! It's like comparing the boogyman to Jeffery Dalmer - one's a myth, the other is real.

I've had my fill of "marijuana surveys"... and "government" that takes a predatory stance towards ganja with no fact to justify the harm the laws of the past 70+ years has caused. It is, time for a change.

WHY BLOG?

"Why do I blog?"

It's the newest why BobKat... over the years, I don't know how many others out there get questioned repeatedly about why I/we do what we do. Maybe it's commonplace. But, to me, when people question me, it feels personal. The true question is 'how will I make money doing that?'

I may be particularly sensitive, when being questioned, given past experiences. And so we begin...

History aside for the moment, I do it for me, and I do it with the idea that others will find my blog interesting, maybe inspiring.

It's a learning experience, a place to exercise my mind, thoughts, and although a bit on the fringe at times express myself. Others can listen. It's what I did during the 70's when I was working at the college, I wrote all around the campus, and after work at night I wrote a the college bar nearby. Legal age for alcohol was 18.

Dung is what's left of those years... that and some great, cherished memories. Quite the combo... it isn't any wonder I write... given the next 30 years that followed... the result is a mind overloaded, and writing is in my nature, and something I need to do.

I write because I can.

Since Oct. of last year I've written 70+ posts. I have 4 followers, I have 8 votes in my opinion poll (bottom of this page), and three friends that write comments occasionally.

No, profit isn't the name of this pastime... not yet anyway.

This is a good way to experiment with my writing... it's also a great way to promote those causes I believe in.

Several new posts in the works...

George, my agent, will take any further questions :-

WHAT'S WITH THE NON-CONFORMIST?

In every society there is "the norm", a euphemism for public order. People really are individuals. And to varying degrees they attain success. How that spells out is why there are so many books.

To define the kind of public order required in a society, given all the individuals involved, there had to be laws, rules, morals, and more. But we didn't survive as a species by always following the rules. In fact, many of us rarely act 100% lawfully. I commute a long distance... I can assure you 30% at best obey traffic laws, most speed... and many really speed past. It could be worse, in Boston they also cut you off. I grew to love Boston driving... but that's for another day.

During one of my custodian days, in NH, I had worked at this school maybe 5-6 years by then. It was a great job.

During the 9+ years employed there, it began where in this Elementary/junior HS, in 1988 we could smoke wherever. Within three years we were forced to smoke in the custodian's office, where the principle also hung out. We could smoke outside, and maybe in the teacher's lounges, I am fuzzy remembering that. A year or two later, the law was passed making it illegal to smoke on school grounds; or a set distance.

What I found most interesting was when we had school events in the evening... band concert, spelling bee, penny sale, basketball game... there was always something interesting going on, this was after hours, I worked 3-11PM.

We used to place Butt receptacles at the entrances during these events. When the law took effect, no more butt receptacles. Yet people continued to mill around outside and smoke. It was my job, unfortunately to kindly ask these people not to smoke. "Damn the law, I'll smoke if I want to smoke. It's a cigarette, not pot!" And the butts accumulated on the pavement. Typical non-conformist. These were the adults attending the events.

For a couple months we started putting the butt receptacles back out. To suit the guests. Then, eventually people conformed..

This wasn't my topic, though it's relevant..

Laws are one thing, but social mores and morals are another. It's an area of human behavior that does get researched, though I feel not nearly enough.

I can only contribute my own experiences as a non-conformist, and well all the other non-conformists I knew..

I intend to discuss the price/cost of non-conformity, also the benefits to society and the individual. We'll not go the extreme... We'll take a regular guy who's actually, early on, quite the conformist . Then, he's not.

We'll examine  "what went wrong"?

Our character was a member/employee of a large organization, a large group of people, most who treated him with respect.

He was a college custodian. There were some who saw that as a crime...

Enter, the Non-Conformist...

THE NON_CONFORMIST... PART ONE

It is that time in human history to discuss an extremely important subject: Non-Conformity.

The term itself probably evokes a sense of alarm in many people. The term in it's very basic definition could be construed as amounting to a breakdown in society, and total anarchy. It's a fear, for some a valid fear.

The truth is, there is no black and white explanation when it comes to being a conformist and a non-conformist. I'm sure there are people out there who conform in all possible ways, to rules, regulations, laws, dress-codes, restrictions, etc. But the majority of us walk a fine line... and it's to that end I begin this new topic.

What is the cost of being a non-conformist? What are the benefits? What exactly is being a non-conformist all about?

In my future posts I want to provide insight into what the diversity between being conformist as compared to non-conformist is all about. A society does depend on both for it's survival. An imbalance makes things difficult.

Someone has to be in control if one is to conform... often this is a group, as groups work well in designing conformist rules. Given these sets of rules, a person with inalienable, Constitutional rights to free speech, pursuit of happiness, will find their way to be different. And by being different, they keep alive the "out of the box" perspective on how society is working out.

Certain of these individuals might get peeved over the way a "missing person's case" is being described, and investigated. This person might make a phone call to the family to offer assistance by providing a skill that could help in finding the missing person. This volunteer may find that his non-conformist beliefs are actually a desirable trait, one that might very well help in finding the missing person, or what happened.

In a strictly conformist society there is stagnation and minimal growth.  There is little innovation, and few new ideas. Many businesses subscribe to this ideal... the rational being "we (the company) want employees that do as we say, abide by the rules, and see this similar to high-school. There are rules, and what you do doesn't deserve recognition, nor attention. We pay you, you do what we tell you to."  This is conformity. Without unions, employees are pretty much at the mercy of the company they work for, IF, they are working, being as so many in this country are out of work.

I live in a country that, for the most part, respects my Constitutional Rights, including Free Speech. My right to disagree, argue, peaceably protest , write about, boycott, and promote reform... promote growth in our society. A better society. A free society. A sensible and fair society.

As a Free Society we both should realize there is flexibility in freedom, not breakage. There has to be some rules. In a democracy, those rules are voted on. They are flexible rules and subject to change. There are also rules that protect society... rules that are flexible in some cases, but that society recognizes as wrong and without question unlawful in other cases.

My purpose with this series is to investigate the non-conformist.  Ultimately, most non-conformists become conformists. You only need to belong to a group to conform. Of course, there are bigger groups, and ever bigger.

Eat your broccoli...

Wall St trumps Main St - BobKat Announces Rate Hike to Unsolicited...

I'd love to say this post is tongue in cheek, but it's not. Instead, "I'm Mad as Hell and I'm Not Going To Take it Anymore!".


No, this isn't about ganja.

It's about my current bank that I've had for over 10 years, and credit card companies I've been a well treated client for over 20 years... and how 5 of 8 are screwing me.

My bank where I've had what i thought was "Free Checking" for years. Of late I've discovered they've been charging me a $15/month maintenance fee, for over a year now and i didn't realize it.

I've been scrimping pennies, trying hard to stay in a budget that I can feel comfortable in. I'm one of the fortunate one's. I'm employed... 12 years almost. This year we didn't get a raise. That's a shame, as I busted my ass last year for the company. You'd think they could take out a loan to give us a raise.

Sorry, got off subject there.

I also have a savings acct. with the bank. I have it because of an identity theft event, an event filed with the FTC, and I have it in writing, my identity was stolen. I spoke with my bank, and they recommended a "free savings account". I could have my paycheck therein deposited, then transfer what I'd need to checking. The ID theft happened in 2007. My plan worked well, until...

A month ago I discovered a strange charge online accessing my account. I was looking at Savings. There was a $5 service charge. Hmm. My house mate who also had the same bank/similar account noticed it too. What was it for???

But there was more. I called my bank and expressed my concern. I had signed up for "free savings".  She pointed out the agreement allowed them to change the rules anytime they liked.

I've listened to enough Market Place on NPR to know a line like that. I told the person, given the fact that I had a case filed and verified by the FTC, they couldn't charge me a service charge out of the blue. I asked, "had they notified me?"

She said "yes..." the person I was transferred to, that I was told could help. That person couldn't. It was the rule I accepted the rules, that they could change the rules at any time.

Total charge? Over $200-$300/yr

Add that to all the other interest, taxes, fees, basic needs and commuting expenses, it's amazing I have any extra money each day.

******

Well, effective immediately, I have no choice but to enact a citizen's charge for any and all junk mail, credit-card offers, special offers or free stuff, if I join or submit an application for approval. Effectively immediately a service charge of $25 will be assessed per offer, that I receive by mail, unsolicited. Included in that charge is a maintenance fee, handling charge.

It costs me to look at, consider, look at, read or shred that unsolicited mail. I could send a letter "opting out of receiving these offers". But they can "opt out" too. Or agree to to rates. Just send me a terr detailing your request. A $30 service charge will apply to consider your request.

It's up to you to read this post... failure to do so does NOT excuse or exclude you from said fees and charges.

Thank-you... my new business model should prove as lucrative as what my bank is now feeling !

How is it as a tax-payer who bailed out Wall St., who still gets bonuses that I could barely make in my lifetime, raise my rates across the board, and claim they have no choice but to raise every fee, charge, and cost to benefit them, when they are the ones who screwed up and put society in the mess of a GREAT RECESSION it's in???

While their borrowing and lending rates remain near 0%, us consumers are seeing an increase in all of our rates.

Something smells bad...

And I'm not suggesting "in Denmark". Right here at home.

Born in the USA... as a citizen, just wondering... is anybody out there, anybody listening?

The biggest question/criticism I have is directed towards myself. And perhaps this is the other 50% of the financial reform issue being discussed in Washington. Why did I not realize I was being charged these fees by my bank, until now, when they were right there on my statement?

Damn good question!

I check my accounts nearly everyday, online. I peruse my charges and credits. I look for something out of the ordinary, but that can be difficult given the unusual account names that appear on statements. I tend to look at them. Services charges... I do see them, and I often call the bank, and it nothing... like I didn't realize there was a limit to the number of online transfers per month there were. 4 transfers/month is the limit, I think. Go over that and there's a service charge. When this first happened to me, I called the bank and they refunded me, my agreeing I now understood the terms.

The fact is... I didn't see a service charge for my account coming. I trusted my bank. I had online access to my account and received text messages for changes to my account. I never saw one telling the to rate changes, the fact the bank had been sold a third time, that new rates were in effect. All seemed on the up and up.

I was blind-sided. That's not against the law... though it should be.Yeah, I should have noticed the charges, but I didn't. Along with everything else going on right now in our country, this is just one more example of how Wall St. trumps Main St.

THE LONGEST ROAD - Part X - More from BEHIND the MOP

John Miller is sitting at his fictional computer... since he's fictional.

He open's a fictional bottle of beer, lights a fictional joint... and begins to write.

At over age 50 John reflects, all these years he had a sub-conscious fear of becoming a marijuana burn-out. When he began using marijuana around age 20, that was the primal fear of using it - burn-out. 


30 years later, John stopped using marijuana as he got to the age where hanging out with younger people wasn't as easy. By then John realized he was in a new career, a more stressful career... he started drinking more beer. Only, very rarely did he smoke any pot. So, that was now, but he reflected back to what he could remember when his adult life began.

The "Longest Road" was becoming the "Longest Story" he realized. In due part to facing a terrifying reality. Revisiting a story - his life in his early to mid twenties, that held vital significance. Even if it didn't, even if it was simply a personal issue, John felt writing about it was important.

A history from the mid 1970's...

John became the evening custodian at the community college's Fine Arts Center. His shift began at 3PM and ended at 11PM. He lived a block away. He had a room on the 2nd floor of a converted horse-barn. He shared a kitchen and bathroom with five others around his age. They all smoked pot. Anything was available. John preferred just his pot. At the time - $30 an ounce. All varieties, were from other countries. Very little was grown within the US.

By 1975, marijuana was widely acceptable... nearly every party had people passing a joint or smoking a pipe. The more stoned you were the more you tended to get into groups that were discussing interesting topics. The more drunk, the more you'd be playing poker, or out-side getting fresh air.

John knew many students from the campus as well as many staff and professors. Several professors liked to attend the parties, where students also gathered. John was invited to staff parties too... and they were much the same.

What John would like readers to understand is he was a respected member of the college community. He had a ring of keys to every door in the Fine Arts building. He didn't just clean toilets.

What ticked John off... and what he feels he can't get past, is how could getting a dream job such as he did, become the catalyst to what became his self-imposed exile from his family?

In the next post John is going to get back on topic... turn the "Longest Story" into the story it's meant to be.

Expect a change in title...

There is no "Longest Road..." It's a myth.

"JOHN MILLER" INVITES YOU TO A PARTY... <: )

Welcome to John Miller's Fictitious, April Fool's Day party.

The sign at the door says - NO HARD DRUGS ALLOWED!!! 

I've just arrived at the party ...  And a big, muscular gal, big enough to be a bouncer, stands at the door in a pink cocktail dress, holding a lemon. I wasn't sure about - why a lemon?

A brief argument ensues as the couple in front of me brought cigarettes and beer...

"Sorry", the bouncer says... "No hard drugs."

"What?" the guy exclaims!  "Well that's stupid. It's legal in case you didn't know... " He swears and shows obvious signs of alcoholism and instability... obvious he's had a few already, same with his girlfriend who grows visibly impatient..

"There's a bar down the street," the bouncer explains.

She smiled, being friendly, but the guy's girlfriend thought she was winking and flirting. The thought of no beer drove her crazy and she tried to take a swing at Nancy. The lemon juice caught the girlfriend right on target, and in both eyes.

Ouch, ouch! The couple left, swerving away at high speed down the road...

Jerks, I thought. I knew the rules... they were on the invitation. . 

I was let right inside. I gave Nancy a tip... of my hat.

Inside the party the air was thick with reefer smoke, incense, and the smell of good food... chocolate cakes, cookies, and KFC*. Bob Dylan music (and I think I saw him), Tom Petty, Pink Floyd... I ate some... had a cup of tea...

It wasn't long before I was stoned... with about 30 other people... there were a couple of senators, a judge, two off-duty cops, an attorney, several doctors, a couple nurses, a cook, two custodians, several laid-off auto workers, a gypsy, a comedian, a Romulan... then suddenly, it didn't matter anymore...

I sat down at a table with several different people smoking purple starlight from a hookah. They were discussing the hugh DEB raid in Northern California...  after the drug czar ordered all federal troops to swoop in and arrest or kill as many pot smoking, 21st century hippies, they could find. They began with those who held medical marijuana cards...

The DEB had planned this for years... 70 years to be exact... being stoned some parts of the story went harmlessly off - not registering. Some stuff caught my attention, like I got caught up in a discussion  about how this would not only increase the violence and the moral message about how "drugs are bad, but put fear into the populous... it would increase desire for alcohol and tobacco - increased taxes, and result in less stoners.

A Zombie Round-up...

Yeah... okay... I moved on... it is common for such discussions when persons smoke cannabis. And the discussions generally migrate towards peaceable solutions, or frustration that it's a lost cause. Either way, generally, the discussion moves on, to other topics, and later maybe, people get creative.

From there I got up, ate some more, and saw three attractive women sitting on a couch, passing a joint. I walked over, asked, "may I join you?" a couple smiled, then the woman on the right moved over a bit... "sit here", she said. I did...

***

The police did eventually arrive... surrounded the place and threatened to tear-gas the house. Then they got word there was KFC* inside...So they asked Nancy, the big gal with the lemon if they could come in and have some KFC*?

Nancy made sure they had no hard drugs...and made them leave their guns at the coat-room.

The police investigated, using talents that amazed me as they zeroed in on the KFC*...along the way they tested out a few of the other amenities. They ate all the KFC... and left.

It turned out to be a great party... everyone got along.

April Fools !!!

KFC* is my thanks to Comedy Central's, "South Park "  - March 31, 2010...    I laughed my ass off !!!

THE LONGEST ROAD - Part IX - A VIEW from BEHIND the MOP

John Miller had no idea what to expect! He was 21, going on 22.

He'd told his parents about his new job. His father laughed. His mother crumbled - " my son cleaning toilets", she cried, "what is wrong with you? What ARE you thinking?"

Elsewhere he got support... from friends - "that's cool, ya know".

John had worked for 3 years for a discount department store, part of a large chain of stores. His mother pleaded with him to become a store manager. John didn't completely discount the idea, but he really didn't like that place, that work. He didn't know why. The people working there were mostly okay... and he got to flirt and try his wings with a few of the women working there. Older women and those his age... one he actually got up the nerve to date... Angela, he recalled... slender, fit, and hot... and he'd gotten a date with her. A date he knew included sex...

Ironically, he chose the college park after dinner to pull over and make out with her. He was about to get to 2nd base when the police cruiser pulled up beside them, lights going - red lights! Angela had her shirt off - well, almost off. We pulled ourselves together quickly, as the officer knocked on our car window.

John rolled the window down... the officer asked questions, told them they need to leave. They left, and John never saw Angela again. He quit his job and went to work for the community college. How ironic he thought a year or so later. If he'd only gone with Angela in the hundred acre park, he'd have gotten to home. But he lived home then, and when he got the new job, he lived on the edge of the campus. A half a block from the arts building he'd be working at for the following three years. He often walked to the park at night, and not along the road, but through the dark woods.

John's mind was overloaded with information, new experiences, new revelations, knowledge and questions he didn't dare ask. Who could he ask. His father was generally cool and supportive, but he always seemed to hand him off to his mother... yeah, his mother. What happened between mother and son??? John really wanted to know. But it went so far back, and he was free to seek out a new life... for the first time he felt an overwhelming inspiration.

John wanted life! He wanted to be friends with women, and he felt that was taboo, which isn't surprising he often thought given the "general morality" in town, and how strictly his mother bought it. He wanted knowledge, he wanted to write. He wanted to solve mysteries, wanted to find the truth that had been strung in front of his nose his whole life... being told what was right, what was wrong, and there was little flexibility, in his opinion.

The first day on the job at the college his new boss, Frank, asked to see his hands. Nearby was his new co-worker, a man with bad teeth, a jutting lower jaw, but strong, and obviously he had a power of some kind. You could easily see in his dark eyes, the mischief within them. Half Italian, half a direct descendant from Apache Native Americans, Oats, it's what he was called, was a man that didn't take sit from anyone... he was exactly the kind of guy that John probably would not have chosen as a co-worker, had he the choice. Oats saw him as a hair-bag, a guy with longish hair - a hippie. He was right. But Oats turned out to be a better friend, than not. He would turn John upside-down at times. In a good way; though his pranks got John in minor trouble on a few occasions.

Frank, wasn't too impressed with John's hands. "The guy hasn't done a day of work in his life", he scoffed. Oats laughed. Frank handed him a partially cut-open white plastic bleach  bottle, and a toilet swab... "time to learn how to clean toilets", he told him.

And he learned...

After work that night - his shift ended at 11PM, John went home, rolled a joint and took a walk to the Hundred Acre park... mostly river and forest... he didn't go far, he just wanted to get out and walk in the darkness and the lights on campus; then get a feel for what was something he was familiar with during the day... when he'd walk along the paths in the woods. Funny how no matter how alone he was he felt paranoid, like a dozen police cruisers, helicopters would swarm in on him when he least expected it. Never happened... those years of paranoia were a waste. But John had to laugh... he would think, if pot makes a person paranoid, as he was told, then how was it he had a reason to be paranoid?

He'd been raised his whole life to strongly believe marijuana was a dangerous drug... a heinous drug, "the destroyer of youth..." Some destroyer... to John he'd begun to discover himself... and for the first time in John's life he realized he'd found a road that he liked. A road he felt good on.

In the middle of the dark woods John stood... he sparked up his Zippo lighter, and lit the joint. He inhaled deeply, held it in. The woods grew brighter, then darken and started closing in on him. The rush hit him a few seconds later, and the dark woods turned alive. Now he could see in the dark. He pushed back on any fear he felt. He told himself... believed, a dream had come true.

To be continued...

THE LONGEST ROAD - Part VIII - A Slippery Slope... *John Miller Fiction* by BobKat

Henry Miller, who is best known as the writer who wrote: Tropic of Cancer, 1934; Tropic of Capricorn, 1939,  no relationship to our fictional John Miller, wrote "Remember to remember..." in one of his novels; it stuck for John. It became one of his mantras... remember to remember.

After a year and a half in community college studying electronics technology, he decided he wanted to be a writer. The fact was, he was terrified of the math, calculus he'd have to study. Electronics was a hobby he enjoyed, not something he felt he wanted to do for work. The first Apple computers were just coming out, and besides, in 9th grade he'd taken interest in a basic computer his HS was loaned, and he loved it... in his free-time that is where he would go. That was until the school decided to cut his computer privileges because algebra was more important and he wasn't doing well.

 It must have been around 1974 John made the decision. He still remembers his first writing class at the college... he was scared to death, nervous, sweating, from fear of failure. Sure he had written as a kid, but this was far different. He was actually studying writing!

He actually did pretty good in the class. He struggled with the answers... in many cases because there weren't any, in the traditional sense. It was a creative writing class. They also learned the rules of poetry, the different types of writing and he really enjoyed writing Haiku. His humble beginning was poetry.

The children are born, the children of change.

The children are free, the children can see.

You ask - "what can they see?"

The answer is simple, for all to see.

A web is before them, a web called "life". 

A spider is watching, for those who are not.

The spider is deadly, it'll get you, it must.

The children can see it, the people not.

1975

It was a couple more years before John was able to learn the truth about writing. The fact that in many ways questions were far more important than answers. A good answer required an excellent question. It was also a couple of years later that John was introduced to the writer Henry Miller, and the phrase that would become his mantra, and his unexpected burden.

It was a slippery slope for John, making the change near to the end of getting his AS degree... he was shy 15 or so credits, and changed his major to liberal arts. His parents didn't know yet, since he had moved out a couple of months earlier. He'd have to tell them eventually, wasn't sure what they'd say. He also realized he wanted to work at the college. What could he do?

He realized he could get a job as a custodian... maybe. He had his doubts, but he'd sit on the step to the Maintenance Department everyday if he had to to get the job. It was his way inside the realm of the scientists, a concept he'd picked up in a science-fiction story by Ray Bradbury. Three years he figured... if he could work in the college for 3 years as a custodian he'd be set... he would be ready to reach out farther and have time to find himself, an ideal that drove many a person those days. Just 3 years, that's all he asked for...

Next time... A View from Behind the Mop

NH Constitution, Article 83: Encouragement of Literature, Trades, Etc.

Established October 31, 1783 Effective June 2, 1784 As Subsequently Amended and in Force January 2007

[Article] 83. [Encouragement of Literature, etc.; Control of Corporations, Monopolies, etc.] Knowledge and learning, generally diffused through a community, being essential to the preservation of a free government; and spreading the opportunities and advantages of education through the various parts of the country, being highly conducive to promote this end; it shall be the duty of the legislators and magistrates, in all future periods of this government, to cherish the interest of literature and the sciences, and all seminaries and public schools, to encourage private and public institutions, rewards, and immunities for the promotion of agriculture, arts, sciences, commerce, trades, manufactures, and natural history of the country; to countenance and inculcate the principles of humanity and general benevolence, public and private charity, industry and economy, honesty and punctuality, sincerity, sobriety, and all social affections, and generous sentiments, among the people: Provided, nevertheless, that no money raised by taxation shall ever be granted or applied for the use of the schools of institutions of any religious sect or denomination. Free and fair competition in the trades and industries is an inherent and essential right of t he people and should be protected against all monopolies and conspiracies which tend to hinder or destroy it. The size and functions of all corporations should be so limited and regulated as to prohibit fictitious capitalization and provision should be made for the supervision and government thereof. Therefore, all just power possessed by the state is hereby granted to the general court to enact laws to prevent the operations within the state of all persons and associations, and all trusts and corporations, foreign or domestic, and the officers thereof, who endeavor to raise the price of any article of commerce or to destroy free and fair competition in the trades and industries through combination, conspiracy, monopoly, or any other unfair means; to control and regulate the acts of all such persons, associations, corporations, trusts, and officials doing business within the state; to prevent fictitious capitalization; and to authorize civil and criminal proceedings in respect to all the wrongs herein declared against. June 2, 1784 Amended 1877 prohibiting tax money from being applied to schools of religious denominations. Amended 1903 permitting the general court to regulate trusts and monopolies restraining free trade. Personal interpretation and how I feel it affects me: I have the right to discuss, disseminate information deemed relevant to my truth, encourage discussion, inform, educate, and promote legalization of cannabis/ganja, aka marijuana for personal use including right to grow the plant and/or recreational and medicinal use. I am legally permitted to pursue this objective given 35 + years of personal experience and an educational background that provides me the critical skills to interpret my experiences and knowledge. Further, any infringement on my rights herein, and beyond which attempt to violate my rights under the NH Constitution, are hereby seen as a direct violation my rights. These rights are similar to those enjoyed by credit card companies who use the laws of South Dakota to charge extravagant interest rates on credit cards issued by businesses involved in issuing credit based in that state. I further maintain that provided my rights under NH, Art. 83, I propose I am technically exempt from state laws that in fact I suggest violate, said constitutional right to promote agriculture and education, to grow cannabis and use for educational purposes. Not that I am exercising those rights, but rather, I am simply stating for the record, that I should be able to exercise those rights. Further, I claim, any future impositions or incidents involving NH law enforcement in which I'm expected to remember and regurgitate a stupid incident way back around 1985, involving an empty pipe, in a state other than my own, used to smoke ganja at a wedding, of which I paid my dues, with a $100 fine, is construed by me to be a violation of my state rights in that it's irrelevant   and a thing long past, it was a "learning experience". Is it right to prosecute me and hold a moral "gun" to my head for the rest of my life because of something harmless that happened more than 25 years ogo??? Is it justified to consider me a "criminal"? Is it justified that potential employers can require me to disclose an incident that is virtually ludicrous, and unconstitutional, whose only place of disclosure would be an episode of "Saturday Night Live"? No, it's not. My blog has made clear that any past use or suggestion of use of cannabis has been for educational purposes. My message to NH Government Lynch is simple - Don't Tread On Me! And stop being a hypocrite! If you were really concerned about drug use in this state you would and should make tobacco and alcohol illegal in this state. That they are legal is contrary to your logic about recreational drugs, shows a lack of judgement and concern for the citizens of this state. Marijuana is safer. And you don't seem to recognize nor accept that basic fact, after nearly 70+ years of evidence and research. No one even remotely suggests legalizing cannabis for children, any more than they would propose legalizing alcohol, tobacco and gambling to those under an adult age. Regarding the federal government and it's laws, status and regulations regarding cannabis... time to grow up and smell the roses. Federal laws prohibiting cannabis use and personal growing of are unconstitutional, as no direct harm or threat to civilian use or growing of cannabis has been even remotely confirmed. The consequences of prohibition against cannabis has caused far more damage and cost to human life and freedom, than any actual threat. Alcohol and tobacco are far more addictive and dangerous than cannabis. I demand redress of these laws from my government. I oppose any laws currently in effect that prohibit use or growing of cannabis. Any such laws violate my constitutional rights, and any punishments for use thereof are far in excess of any harm suggested, which in 99.999% of the cases no harm is committed. Current laws also violate my constitutional rights to pursue benevolent research in societal benefits derived from cannabis commerce, research, growth and benefit from commercial and educational investment in cannabis culture, use, education and sale to promote economic growth of a potentially lucrative industry. Being thus limited by current laws I can state clearly and without hesitation that my current career and economic issues that I may have are in many ways a direct result of excessive, prejudicial and constitutional infringement of my rights under the Constitution of the state of NH where I have been a citizen for over 20 years. Until said grievances are addressed by my state government, I declare, my rights under article 83 of the NH Constitution are violated.  Governor Lynch is hereby being informed by a citizen of NH that continued opposition to legalizing cannabis/ganja, aka marijuana is a violation of my rights, not only as a citizen of NH, but a citizen of the USA. If I'm subject to credit card regulations based on the laws and regulations of the state of SD, I'm certainly within my right, to invoke my protections granted under NH, Article 83; and other articles, amendments to the state constitution; and other basic human rights including my rights as an American Citizen. Current laws and regulations with regards to cannabis create an environment in which millions of persons who would otherwise be law-abiding, productive citizens, are instead criminals. They are criminals whether or not they are discovered. The year is 2010... our oceans have perhaps 100 years at most to survive, due to the imminent death of coral reefs around the world. Once the oceans become toxic cesspools, there won't be a world for us to call beautiful. This is because my government spends more tax dollars keeping people from using drugs like cannabis, than they do, to make this world a better place. "Live Free or Die" That is my truth... Sincerely, BobKat

DESIDERATA

It was the mid-1970's.

It was around  age 19-20.

I discovered the following 23 verses of a manuscript by an unknown author,  called the "Desiderata". 

To me this fit perfect as a beginning, to my philosophy, and my road-map in life.

I was looking back through one of many notebooks I used to write in and found it. Wow, what a blast from the past! Today, it's largely forgotten or lost. Too bad. Much about who I am, how I became the person I am, is here.

Welcome back, to the 1970's... 

DESIDERATA, circa 1692...

I.  Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
II. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
III. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
IV. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
V. If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
VI. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
VII. Keep interested in your career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
VIII. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
IX. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
X. Be yourself.
XI. Especially do not feign affection.
XII. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as the grass.
XIII. Take kindly the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
XIV. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
XV. But do not distress yourself with imaginings; many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
XVI. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
XVII. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here!
XVIII. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
XIX. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him/her to be.
XX. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
XXI. Not all is sham and drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a very beautiful world.
XXII. Be careful.
XXIII. Strive to be happy!

Manuscript found in old St. Paul’s church, Baltimore, dated 1692. Author unknown.

Personal Observations, Experiences RE: Recreational Drugs in the US

This post actually got it's start a few years ago when my (then) girlfriend and I were on vacation, camping for a week, metal detecting and exploring Vermont. It originates from a chance meeting with a young couple in their early 20's at an observation tower - one of those rustic wooden ones open to the public. This one was high up on top of a field in a small town over-looking what seemed like 100 miles in all directions. Very beautiful country.

We got to talking with the couple, the guy was especially keen on talking when he found out I'd "come of age in the 1970's"... he was envious. "You had it made," he said, "compared to what we have to put up with now". I knew what he meant... I still like to have my hair long, wear jeans to work, try and live a laid-back lifestyle. Our conversation was amiable and it was obvious all of us there on top of that tower, were cool. It truly felt like America, the Land of the Free.

A delusion sure... I may have had some beers in a cooler, and he may have had a joint. What I remember is we had a good time. And we talked, about things the way they were for me in the 70's, and things for him since he turned 18.

He told me what I pretty much already knew, that young people in their teens were watched and scrutinized to the point youth felt "stalked and spied upon..." his exact words. All he wished for was to be able to make his own decisions when it came to finding himself. His girlfriend, who didn't say much, moved her head in agreement.

A poignant moment in time...

I admit, I was legally able to consume and purchase alcohol products at age18 in 1972. Today it's 21.

I am both in agreement with that change in the law, yet not. Alcohol is a difficult drug to handle, and I personally saw that myself, many times. It's danger is seriously underestimated. Regulation is seriously lax... I say that given reasons I will get into shortly. The fact is when I was 16 we were going to bars, illegally. Unfortunately I always got sick after two drinks...

We used to have keg parties in abandoned areas of forest... we were never bothered. I always got sick after the 2nd beer... the reason is in an earlier post. My friends - usually 3, would go driving off, leaving me at the campsite, sick. They would drive drunk, go to areas where young women hung out, and pick them up for more drinking and sex. This was the norm. And it wasn't right.

So for that reason I do believe age 21 is best for use of alcohol. I also believe the amount of alcohol a person or group can purchase should be regulated... I've seen 21 year-old's buying grocery cart's full of booze... enough to intoxicate a whole bar! That's not regulation of a dangerous drug in my way of thinking, when you compare it to talk of marijuana decriminalization in quantities of less than an ounce. I even asked the manager at the state-owned liquor store if there wasn't a limit to the amount of alcohol a person or group could buy? Their answer - "They can buy out the whole store if they have the money".

***
Based on the past 35 years I've learned the following about recreational drugs:

Wine, beer, booze is regulated. Loosely.

Does an 18 year old today have it worse or better than myself in 1974? No. The only recreational drug an 18 year old can use legally is tobacco. The worse drug possible. Enforcement of breaking the law with alcohol has increased many fold, while peer and adult attitudes have relaxed. Much of that is due to the fact that the current recreational drug laws prefer an enforcement approach, rather than a harm-reduction approach.

18 year olds can't use ganja, nor alcohol. But they can smoke cigarettes. And they can experiment with just about any chemical or pharmaceutical they can find. And they do.

Cannabis, in my opinion is the missing link in providing a safe way to grow old. In my media list is a book called "Marijuana is Safer, So Why Are We Driving People to Drink?" Please read it. Ganja is not addictive in the way tobacco or alcohol is. If tobacco, which seriously should be 25 or older to use, were given a competitor, those wishing to smoke something, and feel good, might try ganja over tobacco. A far wiser choice.

Here are some of my other suggestions:

K2... It was only a matter of time before some chemist came up with a synthetic form of THC. I'm not sure what this guy came up with but I'm not interested. What makes cannabis unique is the combination and level of two chemicals that occur naturally as the plant flowers - Δ⁹-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and cannabidiol (CBD). Pure THC is very depressing... any hype otherwise is nonsense. It is when it's combined with the cannabinoid that it becomes "friendly and euphoric". I expect the chemical that is K2 is okay, but what I don't trust are the chemist that make it for distribution. In addition, it gets mixed with an herbal blend...

I've studied herbs for 35 years. Back before Celestial Seasoning's herb teas were even thought about, I was espousing the virtues of many different herbs. As an alternative to smoking tobacco which I got hooked on quite young, I tried smoking some of the more promising herbs, not to get high, just to smoke and enjoy. I never found one that i enjoyed smoking, least of all tobacco. So why, even if K2 is legal still in most states would I want to smoke it when I can't think of any plant to mix it with?

Legal in most states... my suggestion, marijuana is safer!

Opium... rare these days, was somewhat more common during the 70's in the form of opiated hashish.  It's apparently mellow, but very addictive.

Cocaine... burns out your nose and doesn't give much in return. Avoid.

LSD: It's been said, that President Kennedy, AG Bobby Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe all used LSD before it became illegal in the 1960's. Allegedly created by the CIA to find out if it could be the ultimate truth drug, it leaked it's way out to the elite... along with Dr. Timothy Leary who you might want to look up on Wikipedia. When it became popular among 60's hippies, that caused the concern that made it illegal. Pure LSD is not generally harmful, the problem is it's often poorly made, or strychnine is used, a poison that causes deleterious and life-threatening consequences and lsd like hallucinations, and a swollen tongue, if you're lucky, maybe death. In the early 1970's "windowpane" was common... and it was generally quite pure, and relatively safe... then came blotter acid... named as such because it came in the form of tiny squares of blotter paper soaked in the LSD. This is where anything could be in it. It's not the 60's or 70's anymore... my suggestion... steer clear of acid.

Psilocybin aka Magic mushrooms ... interesting mushroom. Many new pharmacological uses being discovered all the time. But it's illegal.

Peyote... would love to try it someday. But illegal.

RE: meth, heroin, glue, many prescription drugs, choking games, stalking, hurting others... etc... NO! Please don't. You might want to check out the yellow pages for a psychologist... seriously, there is a limit to what people can endure.I mean coca leaf chewing is one thing, but injecting drugs, inhaling glues, come on. And don't accept strange pills sold as if they're speed or downers... they could be anything. Literally! Been there in the 70's... seen it all.

Be true to yourself. Try to keep to a minimum, those persons who cause you to be uncomfortable or that create disharmony. Only you can make the choices that become your future. Hard choices sometimes. Only you are responsible for your actions.

It can be the best of times, or the worst of times, after age 18... there's a lot to discover, a lot to learn, a lot to experience for the first time. Don't let it overwhelm you... just like everyone else, someday you will die. But don't use youth as an excuse to decide now is that time. It takes many years to eventually, to find out who you truly are... and no matter how alone or unusual you may think you are, there are going to be others in the world similar to yourself - doing the best they can too, and if not simply getting by, might actually feel pretty good.

Reality is subjective by nature, no matter how often we might be told there is only ONE WAY. If you take "the road less traveled, beware of wild animals, and especially do-gooders who may try to force you back on the main road. You never have just two choices in life, you always have at least three. Over, under, or progressively forwards...

THE LONGEST ROAD - Part VII - John Miller Fiction by BobKat

John Miller popped open a beer... he drank a lot it it these days. He was in his 50's, and on personal reflection, haunted by his past. He had a story, many stories in fact. But to tell them, ah, there was the problem. He reasoned if he was famous others would tell the difficult stories for him. But he wasn't famous. In fact, he knew few people anymore. He was an admitted recluse who went dutifully to his job, and back home when the day was done. On weekends he drank, as time went on he got less and less out into nature, a pastime he used to refer to as "his religion".

Over the years John realized he'd made a wish he now regretted. A wish that came true and though lasting for a few years, it disintegrated and eventually slipped through his fingers. It took many years for the dream to disappear, and the more he struggled to hold it the more it seemed to vanish, like a dream upon waking, though there was no awakening for John, who, having once experienced the fruition of his dreams, it might just as well have been sprayed with paraquat and agent orange.

It's a story he can't tell, yet he has no choice. He went from spinning his wheels in his early 20's to entombing himself in cement, alive, having no place else to go. In many ways John imagined himself a vampire, immortal, and alone among humankind... wishing to reach out, but knowing it's too late. They'd recognize him for what he was in an instant.

Oddly, John didn't live alone. He lived with his ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend. They lived in an old farmhouse raising their own chickens, hogs, a goat, and cats to keep the rats away. Hi girlfriend was the kind of woman he wished he'd met years earlier. She was attractive, well educated, down-to-earth and over-sexed. He hadn't been able to keep up, and it frustrated her to a rage sometimes. What they did have, and it was more a curse now to John than a blessing, was a close friendship. He'd been her man for 7 years, and then they knew it wouldn't work. Did he move out? No. They were friends and that meant a lot to John. John had actually become close friends with her new boyfriend too. He like John, was something of a recluse, although he was readily able to start up conversations with almost anyone.

John... he became a recluse so he wouldn't snap. The vampire in him had lived thousands of years. Some might call it his soul, saying "he had an old soul". But John didn't have that luxury... to accept that, though deep inside he found it soothing. But it started the mantra - what if...

What if he'd had the strength way back then to hold onto the success he'd achieved? What if he'd been able to hold onto all the work he'd done to realize a dream come true? What if the nights sleeping on his grandparents porch-swing, where he'd sung "Wish Upon a Star...", and fallen asleep, had lasted?

John is damned... a mother's curse... and John knows, that the only way to vanquish the curse is to expose it. It's not magic, these kinds of curses... they play on the mind, and witch-doctors long ago learned the tricks, that feed on people's minds. But just because one knows that a curse isn't real, doesn't mean they're not affected. We know the common cold of flu is a virus, and we get sick, and in a few days, a week, we get better. Curses, well, it depends upon where they come from. And it depends upon why the cursed was cursed?

You might want to study up on the term "reality" for John's truth. Apparently there are those gifted humans who know exactly what reality is. John learned about reality... along with many other interests, the question of reality was foremost, perhaps due in great part to the fact his parents were so different. The simplest explanation for reality is that it is largely subjective. There are solid facts... but in a big way they are connected together through one's own unique take on reality. On a practical level we view reality through our experiences and education. John grew up to question nothing... it was answers that he responded to. At home he was told want to do, at school, he was told to find the answers, and listen to the facts as his teachers told him.

At age 20 John finally rebelled, not in a violent rage, no, no... John realized what he wanted in life... he realized for the first time what "to work" really meant, if what he wanted was to be reached. His teenage years, his childhood, were behind him now. He had work ahead.

At age 20, something about the pot... it helped him focus, opened his mind to all sorts of possibilities, and he realized he had the potential to accomplish his dreams... He just had to learn, see, and believe.

The curse, as it happened was when John was turning 25... but what you're about to experience in the next few posts are John's early 20's. The 1970's... Pipe-dream or Paradise? In the meantime, you might want to brush up on what reality is...

WIKIPEDIA: LINK TO REALITY

To be continued...

THE LONGEST ROAD - Part VI - Interview with John Miller by BobKat

A continuation of my interview with John Miller, a fictional person from the 1970's...

BobKat: Last we spoke you'd mentioned getting a job as a custodian at a community college. You said it had a lot to do with a book you'd read at age 8. You smoked marijuana around age 19-20 and that book inspired you. You connected your decision to be a custodian with your use of marijuana and that book. You suggested that sexually you were very naive, that you were in college working towards a Associates degree in electronic technology, but things changed. So the question is, what changed and how?

John Miller: The morning after using marijuana I woke up, a criminal. I'd never been a "criminal" before. What was worse, I laid there in bed wondering why? I didn't have a hang-over, I didn't recall any violent behavior... I remembered laughing... how good it had felt. I woke up at home - still living with my parents. As the next couple of months progressed, as I smoked more marijuana, I began to be aware of myself as a person. It was an extraordinary experience...

BobKat: Okay... I'm beginning to see the dilemma here... what you're suggesting is, as far as you can remember, you woke up with the idea that you'd broken the law and began to experience what some might say were delusions... your delusions involved a sci-fi book you'd read at age 8. Until that time, you were growing up with very conservative values. You'd say right-wing conservative. Correct?

John: Yes

BobKat: You changed?

John: Oh, yeah I changed. By age 20 I'd moved out on my own. I wouldn't have otherwise. I got that room on the 2nd floor of the horse-barn rooming house at the edge of the college. I got the job as a custodian at the Fine Arts Center building. I starting writing again, got into photography, and because I was the evening custodian at the Arts center, I could stay after hours and use the darkroom. I also had free tuition... I took every course of interest to me.

BobKat: You were doing drugs... how do you see yourself as accomplishing anything of value? Playing devil's advocate here.

John: LOL's... for the first time in my life I was aware of myself... and I worked hard. I had a full-time job keeping a large building clean. And safe. I had the keys to every door in the building. I had people who needed help all the time, and I enjoyed helping them... this included getting into their car where they'd locked their keys inside. It was hard work... but what I really enjoyed was the freedom... as long as I got my work done, I could go to my office and write, or socialize. It was the mid 1970's... a time where people were reaching out, a time when men and women were accepting one another; a time of sexual exploration. And exploration of oneself.

BobKat: A lot there, but it sounds like you were where you wanted to be? Were there problems?

John: I was exactly where I wanted to be, and yes, there were problems. The problem was my mother. The one person I'd grown up so dependent on. She freaked out! When she found out I was a custodian at the college she made it clear she was disgraced with me... that she had raised me for more than to clean toilets!!!

BobKat: John wants to stop there. He'll be back, but the problem is, what John did wasn't "cleaning toilets", though that was a part of his job. The issue is, the shame and guilt that came from his family when John took this job... a job that to John was exactly what he'd dreamed of. John also feels, a double-whammy, in that, the anti-cannabis supporters would leap on the band-wagon, and agree with John's mother - marijuana made John a failure in life.

Shame and guilt... next time, digging deeper into the life of a real, fictional person who liked and benefited from the use of marijuana.

John Miller's Fictional Autobiography as told by BobKat...

THE LONGEST ROAD - Part V - Interview with John Miller by BobKat

John Miller admitted to me, he was at an impasse. Even fictional characters have limits... so he asked me to interview him. Q&A.

BobKat: John will start this interview.

John: Thanks. ah... I was very fortunate growing up... I had challenges though, in speech, attention, and so on. My mother and father were the best. As a child I still remember my mother scratching my back, me in her lap. Things change - so much influences us everyday.

I was picked on a lot as a kid.It was the 1950's-60's, so that's not news. Fact is my parent did everything they could for me. During middle school especially, they had to intervene in problems with bullies at schools. At the time school counselors favored the "stand up to them and fight back", which would then get you into the principal's office, and maybe the nurse's office. The one jewel I found among all those years in MS and HS, is a statement my school counselor made to me one day... "it will end when you graduate, hang in there".

BobKat: So did you hang in there John?

John: I did. I graduated with a C average, a yearbook full of best wishes, and at least the idea that I was becoming an adult. I survived the bullying, algebra, band  and  puberty.

BobKat: Sorry, you said "puberty"?

John: Yeah...Yeah... except for a girl when I was in 8th grade, I didn't date.  I liked  girls, but couldn't bring myself to relate with them. I made a few attempts to get their attention, a date, The boys getting the dates were bulls - playing the game I knew nothing about. I was a nerd. I was too shy.

BobKat: You were that shy?

John:  I was shy; but I also knew nothing about sex; and second, my mother had advocated against contact with females. Mostly I excelled at solitary hobbies... reading, electronics and science, but marginal at best elsewhere. Although as a child I liked writing and drawing, by 14 that was history. By age 14 I'd abandoned my artistic interest, and went hunting and fishing instead. My parents sent me to "youth-camp" for three years... so around age 13 - 15, it was during the second year camping in our tent one early evening with a full moon outside, a fellow camper did a shadow scene of a man having sex with a woman on the tent wall for all to see. I found it to be repulsive, recall why would that happen?.

BobKat: A lot to put together here. From what I know about you then you were quite conservative, and didn't question authority or your view of reality?

John: Correct.

BobKat: So what changed? What happened that you have this story you feel is important to share?

John: What changed? I got high on marijuana.

BobKat: You did what's termed - "use of illegal drugs". Weren't you quite opposed to illegal drugs? Once you almost called the police because you found out your sister used drugs? Without going into the reason you did this, which you've already written about, in what way did this smoking pot change you?

John: After HS graduation I was expected to go to college. I understand that.  And I did... I majored in Electrical Technology... but avoided the math the first year and took two semesters of physics... biology, chemistry...  math was looming, and I'm bad at math. I was around 19 when I was with my two friends and we smoked pot for the first time. I already recounted how for the first time in my life I freely laughed. My mind became the universe, and I could see into it. Not an hallucination, but rather insight, self-awareness.

BobKat: That's great, your first year courses. Physics is a tough science.

John: yes. And thanks to a friend in class we spent hours on the phone doing our homework.

BobKat: Wow... were you aiming towards teaching or engineering?

John: Neither. I was going to college, like I was suppose to do.

BobKat: Oh.You don't think that you could have excelled in the electronic technology field?

John: No.

BobKat: You said your experience with marijuana changed things?

John: Yes. Within a few short weeks I realized I was an artist. I started writing, walking in the woods again, something I hadn't done for a few years. Only this time I wasn't hunting. I was communing with nature. I gained an interest in plants and medicinal properties. I became the early 1970's guru of herbs. This was well before Celestial Seasonings Herb Teas went on the market. And I was always writing.

I had the idea in my mind originating from a sci-fi book I'd read when I was 8, that I wanted a job among "the scientists". The only way to do that at age 19-20 was to get a job at the local college. After the effects of the cannabis settled in over a period of a few weeks, I got up the nerve to apply for a custodian position. I figured my odds of getting the job was next to nil. But it happened, as if by magic. What was the best part was that I got the job for the 3 - 11 shift at the Fine Arts Center building of the college.

To Be Continued...

NH HOUSE VOTES 214 TO 137 TO DECRIMINALIZE POSSESSION OF (less than 1/4 oz) MARIJUANA

Massachusetts has already decriminalized small amounts of cannabis, as a result of a landmark peoples vote. So far no problems, and I don't expect many. A few, yes, but not many. The question now is whether the NH Senate will vote rationally. Governor John Lynch doesn't want any of it - he's vowed to veto any bill legalizing cannabis. Why? His option, his principles... but I doubt he has cats, and if he does I doubt he gives them catnip now and then. Herb free cats and people, that's Gov. Lynch.

I'm very glad and content that I never voted for Gov. J. Lynch... I can't wait to vote against him if he runs again, which considering his general popularity now, he might want to simply resign. Maybe he'll look beyond his own shadows and see the light, one can only hope!

Ironically Gov. Lynch argues, decriminalizing marijuana undermines parents efforts to keep kids off drugs. While at the same time, the governor is pushing to expand availability of the drug - alcohol, and the lottery or "games of chance" and reap more financial gains from tobacco sales.

Well, my reply to Gov. Lynch is: this isn't about kids... this is about adults... and there are many brilliant people out here whose lives are derailed, not by their use of drugs like marijuana, but rather, because of the extraordinarily strict and crippling laws against it's use.

Progress on RDA - Rational Drug Awareness, is always welcome news. Too bad there are governors and other lawmakers who lack basic RDA skills.

214 to 137... Wow! My thank-you to the Representatives who voted Yes...

Get the story from the Concord (NH) Monitor Newspaper here at these links:

March 10, 2010 - "NH House Vote Decriminalizes Pot"

March 11, 2010 - "Marijuana Bill Secures Wide Margin"

Part Three: MARIJUANA AND PUBLIC SAFETY; OR IS IT - MARIJUANA AND THE PUBLIC GOOD? CONCLUSION.

Once again, I'm all for anarchy, in the movies! And I enjoy a good conspiracy theory now and then. It really only takes one person, to create a "conspiracy". Two is better, and the more is the merrier... but to believe the US Government is out to get us, well, fortunately, Wall Street is much closer, and more hostile at the moment... if for no other reason than I got a $50 bonus to the average $5000K bonus on Wall Street. They get bailed out with my tax dollars, and my credit card rates go up. Homeowners, faced with foreclosure are looking the devil in the eye, but me, I'm looking at several life terms to pay off my credit cards.

Anyways... I've lost track of the different "conspiracies" that have allegedly taken place during my life... at the moment, I can recall Watergate and Nixon.

What gets to me is that the government might be conspiring against us. In Iran, I'd believe it, and I know I'm not really free, but I'm freer than many countries to make my own choices. Fact is we elect our officials and they act independently - within reason, and in large part if you write to them, as frustrating as that may seem. They work for us.

Sure, if I was filming an episode of "24", by Fox Television, I could imagine all sorts of back-stabbing and espionage, but we're talking real-life. In real life what warrants a citizen like Mr. Bedell, to go to the Pentagon, armed and intending harm, to "shoot-out" over an idea of his that 9/11 was a government conspiracy?

He was "seriously addicted to marijuana"... according to the news... which may have fed his delusions. But to criminalize marijuana, because one person out of 990 estimated million worldwide users are delusional, is a bit far-fetched.

How many alcoholics have had a black-out while drinking? Add to that prescriptions for sleep, and you have quite the cocktail for trouble.

The question, is does marijuana use in private, constitute a public danger that warrants the current laws and regulations, and the impact on those who prefer it to other drugs? Legal ones - like alcohol? Or dangerous glues and aerosols? Or the newest craze - K2?

Are current laws prohibiting cannabis use and possession justified and a matter of "public safety", or are they a matter of "public good"? The latter being a moral issue, the former a genuine public concern?

Looking back at Prohibition of alcohol...

The 18th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States passed due to almost a hundred years of concern with regards to public safety problems with alcohol use. Alcohol has a tendency for contributing to violent behavior, and women especially were concerned. Almost overnight, passage of the 18th Amendment lost it's original purpose and became a moral issue. According to recently publicized accounts, alcohol consumption itself was never prohibited by the 18th amendment, but possession and distribution was.

In order to ensure and promote the federal government's laws and stance on alcohol, it literally poisoned, yes poisoned, known sources of alcohol being delivered to the public. Among federal law enforcement officials, the attitude in general was, it's illegal and therefore should anyone drink it they ask to suffer or even die; it's their own doing.

The story and following quote is from SLATE.COM - "The Chemist War" By Deborah Blum
Posted Friday, Feb. 19, 2010, at 10:00 AM ET
"Frustrated that people continued to consume so much alcohol even after it was banned, federal officials had decided to try a different kind of enforcement. They ordered the poisoning of industrial alcohols manufactured in the United States, products regularly stolen by bootleggers and resold as drinkable spirits. The idea was to scare people into giving up illicit drinking. Instead, by the time Prohibition ended in 1933, the federal poisoning program, by some estimates, had killed at least 10,000 people."

Conclusion: Current laws prohibiting cannabis use by adults in this country are enforced, in my opinion, for the perceived public good, moral and special interests that have political and judiciary powers unwilling to understand a basic, essential condition that humans need - ESCAPE... whatever form it might take, as long as people aren't hurt.
To walk in a forest high on alcohol or cannabis, isn't a big deal. To drive is. Alcohol is regulated, cannabis is flat-out prohibited. Yet which is safer? You can refer to my list of my recommended reading for the book "Marijuana is Safer, So Why Are We Driving People to Drink" at the botom of my blog, for my media favorites.

I don't think this is at all a conspiracy, but I do believe the public has been largely misinformed, with regards to cannabis. The whole secret to legalized, regulated cannabis is the combination of two key chemicals in cannabis that create the high. The following links to the Wikipedia/ cannabis page. The key isn't THC... because, simply, pure THC isn't a fun ride! It's depressing... so IF THC levels are going up? What about the component of cannabis that makes it euphoric and pleasurable? It appears the following is the answer:

SOURCE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis

Cannabidiol (CBD), which has no psychotropic effects by itself ^[83] (although sometimes showing a small stimulant effect, similar to caffeine^{[citation needed]}), attenuates, or reduces^[84] the higher anxiety levels caused by THC alone.^[85]

Fact of the matter is... cannabis/marijuana is much found by much research to be safer than alcohol use... 

People suffered and many died as a result of alcohol prohibition, and more are dying and suffering as a result of what I feel are unjust regulations and excessive prohibitive actions against personal use of cannabis/safer alternative, to our only choice - alcohol. It's really a no-brainer which is less dangerous... unless you want to consider the moral implications :

Genesis by BobKat

My own interprtation of Genesis... Eve ate of the apple, the fruit she was forbidden to eat as it would bring "enlightenment", knowledge of "good and evil; temptation, and ultimately sin. But the apple Eve found was too good to pass up, so tempting... 

After Eve ate of the apple, Adam stumbled by... by then Eve had become much aware of the world around her. It was so beautiful! So beautiful..

Adam, who had been drinking mosquito juice, asked her why she was acting so strangely? She handed him an apple from the tree... he accepted... now they were both seeing a world, a very beautiful world. Suddenly, they were cursed... just like that. Damn... 

And here we are today... all of us descendants. How about we accept our differences? Respect personal choice as long as we're mature about it? The world we inherited is not "black and white"... it's multi-colored. Our survival as a species depends upon our ability to adapt. Not sure we're doing very well...