LIFE: THE DREAM WITHIN A DREAM...

Concluding the previous three posts titled "Life Sucks, Then You Die..."

I will not even begin to try to understand people who commit suicide and take down others in the act. It makes no sense to me. The act of a suicide is tragedy enough.

There is an element to life that does appear to cry out, that "life sucks, then you die...", but it is but one of an infinite number of variables when it comes to our choices in life.

Life is like a dream within a dream. Some dreams are lucid and quite clear... memorable, other dreams are nightmares, impossible to detach from, or vague, maybe not even remembered.

Who hasn't looked back 5 years and realized nothing had changed...? Or that everything had changed?

Such is life.

Edgar Allen Poe had it correct when he wrote "A Dream Within A Dream...":

Take this kiss upon the brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow-

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream

You can read the rest of the poem by clicking on the highlighted link.

We are the dream, living in a dream. That is a fact. It is also a fact that our actions affect the dream, and those in it, just as those in our dreams affects us.

The irony is, with dreams, it's so personal. We cherish our dream(s). We cherish who we are, who we are, within the dream. I call this our dream atmosphere; the dream we live in, the society and politics of the external dream; our heritage, family traditions, the morals and mores we learn and accept, all become part of the dream atmosphere.

Whether your dreams are nightmares or a form of heaven, mundane or confused, however you perceive them, we are all one, we all live them, and no one is a rock, unchanged over time.

Living your dream...and the only question I have is, are you hurting others or yourself? I would hope not. But the answer is what makes or breaks a crime. How obsessed we are with crimes, and how numerous those crimes. One would think being human is a matter of commonsense... the acts of being kind and respectful of life and others. It's no wonder so many of us shake our heads daily with the latest news of hurt.

There is no need for governments, for example, to enact a nightmare on the public. Such actions would only backfire... but it happens all the time. To the extent that we ask ourselves exactly who does government serve?

"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living." Anais Nin

To whomever is living a nightmare... there is no need. Reality is subjective; and provides for choices in any dream.

It's something of an irony that around age 6, I remember being with my sister and her friend singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat..." an irony in, here I am at 57 singing the same old song...

Row, row, row your boat,

Gently down the stream.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,

Life is but a dream.

Life is..."But A Dream."

Live long, be kind, and prosper...

"LIFE SUCKS, THEN YOU DIE"... IS THAT WHAT YOU BELIEVE? - PART THREE

Wow... I met a wonderful woman online. I courted her the past 5 months. We are a bit distant from each other, but we made the best of it. Two weekends ago I helped her move into a new apartment. No "over-night guests" at the old place, so now, at least I had a couch to sleep on.

Not. She's dumping me. Yeah. She really is.

Which brings me to the subject of suicide - taking one'own life.

First let me make clear I have no licenses in psychology. I'm not a clinician of any kind. I simply have experience. An my good, old, trusty BA in English - makes me a legit writer, yeah. Power to Education.

Socrates...

I always thought Socrates was the first of ancient persons to take their own life. He drank a lethal brew of hemlock.

It turns out, he was sentenced to death by a jury in 399 BC, because his views were considered unconventional - yes, simple as that. He chose his form of death.

"Socrates had become renowned for his contribution to the field of ethics, and it is this Platonic Socrates who also lends his name to the concepts of Socratic irony and the Socratic method, or elenchus. The latter remains a commonly used tool in a wide range of discussions, and is a type of pedagogy in which a series of questions are asked not only to draw individual answers, but also to encourage fundamental insight into the issue at hand. It is Plato's Socrates that also made important and lasting contributions to the fields of epistemology and logic, and the influence of his ideas and approach remains strong in providing a foundation for much western philosophy that followed."

"According to Xenophon's story, Socrates purposefully gave a defiant defense to the jury because "he believed he would be better off dead". Xenophon goes on to describe a defense by Socrates that explains the rigors of old age, and how Socrates would be glad to circumvent them by being sentenced to death. It is also understood that Socrates also wished to die because he "actually believed the right time had come for him to die.""

"Xenophon and Plato agree that Socrates had an opportunity to escape, as his followers were able to bribe the prison guards. He chose to stay for several reasons:

He believed such a flight would indicate a fear of death, which he believed no true philosopher has."

"If he fled Athens his teaching would fare no better in another country as he would continue questioning all he met and undoubtedly incur their displeasure.

Having knowingly agreed to live under the city's laws, he implicitly subjected himself to the possibility of being accused of crimes by its citizens and judged guilty by its jury. To do otherwise would have caused him to break his "social contract" with the state, and so harm the state, an act contrary to Socratic principle."

"The full reasoning behind his refusal to flee is the main subject of the Crito.

Socrates' death is described at the end of Plato's Phaedo. Socrates turned down the pleas of Crito to attempt an escape from prison. After drinking the poison, he was instructed to walk around until his legs felt numb. After he lay down, the man who administered the poison pinched his foot. Socrates could no longer feel his legs. The numbness slowly crept up his body until it reached his heart. Shortly before his death, Socrates speaks his last words to Crito: "Crito, we owe a rooster to Asclepius. Please, don't forget to pay the debt." Asclepius was the Greek god for curing illness, and it is likely Socrates' last words meant that death is the cure—and freedom, of the soul from the body."

*

"Freedom of the soul from the body". Suicide.

*

I've had my fair share of exposures to suicides. There was an employee of mine, whose husband hung himself during X-mas. The owner of the facility we worked refused to give her time off to attend to his body and other matters. I was her manager, until the next day when i quit the job calling the owner an asshole, which he was. There went my resume listing "manager"...

During my time as a custodian at a community college in the 1970's I made two unforgettable acquaintance'. I was in my early 20's and both women were beautiful, very beautiful. One woman made me think of the French, Joan of Ark, short, dark hair, a face to love, and experiences... she was 26 when I met her.

The other woman was a model... in the sense she was beautiful, graceful, but by no means dumb. We had some very good discussions, but then one day she opened up about her body image. She hated herself. She felt the human body was wrong, not right, awkward. She decided she would rather be dead than living in her body. She did so, committed suicide. She was at most 22.

My French friend, she told me one day she was in the nursing program to learn how to properly kill herself. Age 27 she shot herself at the local general hospital, in the restroom.

There was my cousin's best friend, a beautiful woman I got to know well with 3 kiddos and a husband. We used to share "feelings" together. We had fun together. She killed herself and i adopted a kitten the day my cousin and I visited her husband after her death. The cat was my closest companion for the next 11 years, until he died... with him, she died forever, and I was devastated.

Fact is: My father made me promise not to kill myself. He could see I was capable of it from a young age. And so far, so good. But considering the reason's why some choose suicide and others don't... maybe it's the fact I was a 70's person, and going to a therapist was in style, along with self-help books and a lot of questions about "Who Am I", and "What Is My Purpose in Life?" We embraced the challenge. Many of us benefited from the unusual therapies. We took personal risks other generations didn't dare take. For many of us, the "baby-boomer" generation, the results were mixed, but overall positive. For others, not so good.

I'm an idealist, and always around the corner is a better life... some would call that hopeful, others would describe that as being a basic foundation of the American principal, the never ending "pursuit of happiness" that our culture encourages, or at least as a "Constitutional ideal". I'm finding that in reality, life is indeed difficult, and finding happiness is more and more elusive... The very nature of what got Socrates sentenced to death, for example, is still alive and well in 21st century America... the overt demand for conformity. Some people do better shedding the need to conform than others, or the ability to conform and find pleasure in that, however, even successful people have trouble feeling as one with society sometimes, and find they can't live with themselves. And it's sad. I don't believe it has to be that way. But again, I'm an idealist.

Feeling awkward about ourselves or our body... ? Granted, sometimes that is unavoidable, especially when we obsess about it, yet often, it is simply a difficult task as we become more keenly aware of our differences among others, our physical form, or the burdens we carry.

Seems the role of government in that respect would be more one of acceptance, and less frivolous regulations when it comes to what rights adults have in pursuit of their dreams. But alas, governments, religions, and group ideals don't often help, instead, they are designed to enforce a ideal of their own, a lock-step of sorts, and the result is a large segment of the population doesn't feel like they "fit in".

I'll conclude with a very touching, recent story of a SOAP Actor who recently took his own life. Nick Santino, unemployed, was "forced" to euthanize his dog Rocco, on Nick's 47th birthday. Nick got Rocco, a mixed pit-bull, from a shelter, lived in an apartment complex the originally allowed pets. They changed the rules, but "grand-fathered" pre-existing pets as okay to keep.

But for Nick that was at a price...

“People were complaining about his dog,” said neighbor Kevan Cleary, 63, an adjunct professor at Brooklyn Law School. “It was open season on him.”

Rocco couldn’t ride in the main elevators and wasn’t allowed to be left in the apartment alone for more than nine hours.

Santino was then threatened with a $250 fine for having a barking dog, neighbors said.

Santino couldn't live after that... and that's all it takes.

Hey, us human beings, we're a tough lot. But we've got feelings. Part of those feelings is where do we fit into humanity, our brethren?

I can tell you suicide is not the answer, but the solution is complicated. It requires standing back from the present and reassessing the future. With more than two solutions present at all times, one's third eye can often see a way out. I've witnessed it many times. Yet still, those who took their own lives, it's so sad, as it still seems so unnecessary, unjustified and unfair to us still living.

"LIFE SUCKS, THEN YOU DIE"... IS THAT WHAT YOU BELIEVE? - PART TWO

The phrase above (source: WordPress) is from Dante's Inferno, part one of a 14th century, epic poem titled, "Divine Comedy". It's about Dante's walk through Hell's 9 circle's of suffering guided by the Roman poet, Virgil.

Source - WIKIPEDIA:

"The poem begins on the day before Good Friday in the year 1300. The narrator, Dante himself, is thirty-five years old, and thus "halfway along our life's path" (Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita)—half of the Biblical life expectancy of seventy (Psalm 90:10). The poet finds himself lost in a dark wood in front of a mountain, assailed by three beasts (a lion, a lonza [rendered as "leopard" or "leopon"], and a she-wolf) he cannot evade, and unable to find the "straight way" (diritta via)—also translatable as "right way"—to salvation. Conscious that he is ruining himself and that he is falling into a "deep place" (basso loco) where the sun is silent (l sol tace), Dante is at last rescued by the Roman poet Virgil, who claims to have been sent by Beatrice, and the two of them begin their journey to the underworld. Each sin's punishment in Inferno is a contrapasso, a symbolic instance of poetic justice; for example, fortune-tellers have to walk forwards with their heads on backwards, unable to see what is ahead, because they tried, through forbidden means, to look ahead to the future in life. Such a contrapasso "functions not merely as a form of divine revenge, but rather as the fulfilment of a destiny freely chosen by each soul during his or her life.""

I would say my goal in life is to prove that life can suck, only to die, anonymous for eternity, but that it doesn't have to be that way.

It is an ironic time for me to say that, as the truth is, presently, life sucks big-time, and I expect to die any day now. BUT, I know what I know... and once a feeling of success is experienced fully, it never goes away.

Never.

Nor do experiences with guilt attached, or failure; letting someone down or failing them; making a stupid decision and possibly causing harm, death or damage. Ahhh... growing up.

Worse yet, is being an innocent victim... getting raped by someone you trust, taking the fall for something you didn't do; being misunderstood; being bullied.

There's a lot in the news lately about brutal, senseless crimes. I'm not going to name any explicitly, but either it's the media tends to cover and report these crimes more that ever, or I'm simply more sensitive to their existence.

There's no question that given the economic trauma of the last ten years that quality of life has gone south. More people are finding themselves desperate and depressed. It's sad; a sad state of affairs.

But the worst thing a person can do is what this post warned: "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here".

The time may come to do that... but the real battle in life is with death. One can never lose hope. One always has more than two choices in life. The answer always lies in what the question is that's asked.

During the 1970's I can honestly say I lived my life to the fullest. I can never forget those years, though it pains me how the memories from those days fade. That to me was life in all it's different shades and colors. Heaven and Hell.

Yeah, not all memories fade so quickly. The really painful ones, they never go away.

Next Post, Why Suicide, Why is Non-Conformity as Bad Thing, Why Take Others Down With Yourself?

"LIFE SUCKS, THEN YOU DIE"... IS THAT WHAT YOU BELIEVE? - PART ONE

Go ahead, type that query into Google and you'll get 2, 130,000 results. Yikes! That many hits??? So, where to begin?

How about the English Rock Band album - Cerebral Fix, the band that released an album by that name - "Life Sucks, Then You Die" in 1988. The origin of the expression itself I don't believe is known. The reality is, many people feel this expression is true on a daily basis. That is the reason for this topic... dealing with the reality.

Mike Treder, who posts on IEET.org writes as good of an article on the topic as I believe is possible. A brief excerpt:

"As an existentialist, I am committed to the recognition that most of life is suffering. To be born is to die, and to live is to experience pain and agony.

Only the tiniest fragment of humanity has ever been so fortunate as to “enjoy” life, even briefly. The vast majority of humans who have ever lived have perished in anonymity, their hopes, dreams, joys, passions, laughter, tears, toils, fears, and even names lost forever, abandoned to oblivion."

He goes on to offer hope:

"But, aha, it doesn’t have to be that way."

"If we have proven anything in the last 10,000 years of advancing civilization, and especially in the last 300 years of the scientific era, we have shown an ability—indeed a compulsion—to kick against the pricks, no matter how painful that might be, until we break free from whatever bonds held us down. We will not be satisfied with the status quo. Life can be better, and we can make it so."

Ahhh...

Others are not so optimistic:

ThinkExist, for example...

“Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty-five years and you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.”

Wow! That sucks!

*

I have the sort of job where I can browse the internet 8 hours a day in between the work I do. I read the news... most of it is bad news. What's not bad is offensive... what's not offensive is disgusting. So why do I do it. I do it because the internet is my only way to keep abreast of life, and whats happening.

Not all of it is depressing, though. I love what's happening in science, space exploration, cures for diseases, and positive people with a positive role in shaping our future. Angelina Jolie, for example; Bill Gates and malaria prevention and cures; Lady Gaga, her activism! ... yeah, odd choices. Forever being edited, updated and subject to change.

*

It ALL started for me at birth. Yeah, imagine that - birth. Something my mother would remind me about for 50 years of my existence until I finally told her I don't want to be reminded... about how she gave birth to me... oh joy! And all.

My parents were very decent folks, even if they were neurotic. But here's the thing... on a personal level, why I am a member of the "Life Sucks, Then You Die" collective.

When I was around 16 they took me to a shrink... I was bullied terribly in MS and HS and they were very concerned. It turned out I saw the shrink once, however my parents went for months.

The shrink told them I was "normal", yes, NORMAL but that I needed direction and rules. He told them 1 in 99 people are what shrinks consider "normal"; and to imagine that he considered me one of the 1% who were normal. Let me tell you, looking back, that is not a good thing! I'd give anything to be abnormal... lol!

What was barely tolerable before I saw the shrink, became completely intolerable afterwards. To this day I'm not sure what really happened, I simply know my mother started controlling my every move and my father, oddly, was the "good guy". Like bad cop/good cop.

I graduated HS and by age 18 I couldn't wait to get out on my own... my psyche was changing, maturing...

At the time the only things I knew about life was that "when the bird leaves the nest it needs to survive"... which is exactly what my plan was. To survive, and prosper. That was the seed my parents planted, a seed I wished to grow.

This is simply the tip of the iceberg...

I became the Titanic... unsinkable. Or so I believed. What i didn't adjust for was family tradition... the lengths my mother would go to, especially after I moved out on my own, to assure that I conformed to expectations and tradition.

Although I know the simple answer, to this day I'm tortured by the WHY?

The best years of my life were age 18 to 24... after that it was plain old survival. I'm not ashamed to admit I was defeated, my goals destroyed, my life sent off in directions I'd never intended.

It was almost as if, finding "success" personally was a selfish objective. I know this is not true as I read about personal success stories everyday. I was simply not so fortunate, and it's been a curse ever since a particular day, an event that happened back in July, 1979.

My sinking ship...

And making the best of defeat and rebuilding my life...

Next Post: Life Sucks, Then You Die, but why by suicide (?) and what's the big deal about being unconventional? Why does life have to suck? Why can't we choose how to live and die? Why do some people have the urge to take down others with themselves? Is life really unfair, or is it simply a choice we've accepted as fact?