HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM NOW

Everyone considered individually - how did we come to be where we are now? You might well imagine, given statistics, at any given moment an infinite number of things are happening.

Sex for the first time

Eating

Falling asleep

Getting to work

Lighting a joint

About to get murdered, get an award, get arrested, win a $500 million lottery!

Right now, somehow, we got to where we're at.

We're feeling what?

I ponder how I got here now all the time. I shouldn't. But I have my reasons. Before I provide those reasons, a friend of mine just provided me with an epiphany. An old friend - we go back to the 70's. You may need to read it a few times.

"It's only how we got here. 

If we have free will the future is open to a myriad of possibilities and if we don't it's not worth worrying about."

It doesn't matter what job I work, how I'm doing,  how successful I am, how depressed. 

Right now my major stress is my job. I've been there 16 years, full time doing technical support for computer software. I got there because in the 90's I got to love computers.

Fast forwards and frankly it's a nightmare. What was a well defined though chaotic job has become a circus where us employees are the circus animals. Finding a new job is the only out, and playing along doing what one can to add sanity is all one can do. 

But it goes deeper, into the whole concept of Work/Life management. Age doesn't matter. However age does factor in.

When younger the tendency is to weigh one's life towards thyself. Work 20 hours a week overtime, but it's nothing compared to what one does when they not working. Get older, you're more likely to sleep when not working. I'm 61. 

My job has begun to expect working after hours, on weekends. Their argument is "salary". Salary means you can leave early, no punching out, just let supervisor know. In return, work extra, no change in money earned. Salary is fixed income. 

This post isn't about my job however. It is about how we got here.

I'm not blind to the potential of this post... statistically any number of things are happening to people at any given moment. Much is beyond our control right now. 

I simply wish to share some wisdom... that helped me understand Work/Life balance. 

"WORK/LIFE INTEGRATION"

One needs to start somewhere. 

If we have free will the future is open to a myriad of possibilities and if we don't it's not worth worrying about."

 

BOBKAT'S INTRODUCTION TO 2016

The Good News:

Gas prices are way down from where they were! Gets me wondering what happens when the other shoe drops?

Other good news:

Marijuana is now legal in 4 states and several cities for whatever use they choose to use it for, if 21 years old or older.

Gosh... must be more good news, but rare these days.

Bad News:

ISIS
Turkey (the country)
Syria continues to be a threat.
Bad outlook for this year's economy
Increase in questionable deaths by police initiated shootings
No raise for over two years
Trump as the Republicans leading candidate



Need I go on?

I thought not. Yeah so Christmas and all the holiday stuff/crap is over. Time to start doing out taxes. In the north shovel snow.

Our human exposure to the Sun becomes limited leading to all sorts of maladies. Depression in particular. Just remember, you're not alone and this too will pass.

Careful as always what you wish for! Don't keep all your eggs in one basket. And remember, "love is perennial as the grass".

2016, here we come...

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND LET'S WELCOME 2016 !!

Wow! What a year!! 2015 was.

Started the year off with two friends, who are still friends, threatening to call the sheriff to evict me from my room. I had lived with my friends in that room for about 8, maybe 10 years.

Bought a house - my first at age 60. Same state as Stephen King.

Wonderful summer that found me learning to sit outside in my yard and enjoy that, along with my cat.

A year unlike any other. My mother, whom I have a jaded past with, diagnosed with cancer only to find out now it's not cancer and they don't know what it is. My mother with a mysterious illness. Of course.

And I have my illnesses... matters not, not that it matters.

A full year on FaceBook. Maybe not something to write home about. But at 61, looking back, it's extraordinary how things have changed. No more phones. Chat online or even make a call with video online. Had a video Christmas in fact with my family. 700 miles a part and we were together while unwrapping presents.

A difficult year.

New Year Goals:

1) Get exercising.
2) Resolve issues at current job of 16 years or find a new one.
3) Relax while still being productive.
4) Get out and meet people. Or decide to become a recluse.
5) Work on improving the new house.

I would like to write again, like fiction to publish, and found a place to do that: Nelson Algren Literary Awards. It would be a good thing to write again.

Have a Hppy new year :)

BobKat

REFLECTIONS BEGINNING AGE 20

I'm 61 now. I was born in 1954. Milk was delivered to your door. Phone numbers were composed of 5 numbers and a Phone company operator. Much of the area that is now heavily over-run with construction and houses was then woods. That's where I often went, there and many places by age 8.

Age 20 I was renting a room with 6 others my age in a rooming house. We shared the bathroom and the kitchen. Overall not a bad experience... great women, music and good drugs in those days. The house was at the edge of the campus for the local city community college. I got a job with the college as custodian at the Fine Arts Building, called "FACE". As an artist myself, or interested at least, it was the cornucopia of my life. I worked 3PM to 11PM. A 3 story old brick building. I was responsible for the top floor, and one half of the basement.

Often I feel myself back then. I feel the confusion, the unknown sense of uncertainty. I discovered magic - true magic.

I took courses there too, and began to write a lot. Two alliances I call my mentors happened. Both happened to be English professors. Actually they became my surrogate parents, as my own were acting nuts. Doug turned me onto Henry Miller - "The World of Sex", like "The Rosy Crucifixion", a trilogy. Most know or have heard of the author from writing "Tropic of Cancer", which Jimmy Steward famously used in one of his movies.

Then there was Virginia. I had a crush on her though she was 10 years older. What the reason was why she became my mentor, was I heard rumor she was a "white witch". Religion fascinated me, as I'd been brought up by a devoted mother. But I wanted to know something and more about all religions. Virginia helped me learn all I could. Enough to satisfy my craving to understand.

There would be a year I'd have a lot of sex. Every time it mystified me and seemed paranormal. Feeling awkward, except during the actual sex, was beyond enduring. Blue balls are real... yeah I know you women think it's a myth, but at that age many men suffer aching balls, called blue balls, and there's only one real remedy. Sex. So a lot of time goes into what today are called "hook-ups".

I'm still single. I remember it all.