Greetings on Wednesday, May 26, 2010...
Feeling better... had a virus and the doctor recommended a sea-voyage... he cautioned against the Gulf of Mexico - there were issues, like illegal drugs, ie, marijuana and such... oh, and a minor oil spill...
So I headed to - ah, sorry, my GPS is malfunctional... but I'm out here on the open ocean, taking in the fresh sea air... I'm on a sale-boat... I meant sail-boat, lol!
Oh, Oh... pirates...
Strayed too close to somewhere... the captain can't explain it...
We're captured... the good news... tons of cannabis on board; the bad news, I'm American, and my captives think I'm working for the DEA. I attempt, am attempting to explain I don't... "read my blog", I plead...
Next up... while my fate is being decided, a transport ship is sighted... the pirates quickly overtake it... it's full of Turkish tobacco!
I'm being held in the bowels of the ship - a wooden vessel I figure is a ghost ship from the 1600's. I've been here six hours now... been fed some gruel I don't dare ask what it is, and am awaiting my interrogation.
I don't have to wait long... the commandant of the pirates comes down to meet with me personally... I swear she looks like Daryl Hannah, the "Kill Bill" movie star... eye-patch and all...
She tells me I read your "BLOG"... but points a Desert eagle, 50 c pistol at me, nonetheless... she asks: "Why should I trust you?"
I say: " because I'm on vacation and I'm really not feeling very well... and as a matter of fact, death here and now would be better then next Tuesday when I have to go back to work!"
She stares at me with her one beautiful eye... "admit it, you work for the DEA?"
"No, no", I say... just out here on doctors orders...
She says "prove it".
I don't know how... instead I simply ask "if I'm going to die, could I at least have some of the cannabis on-board?"
"That all you want", she asks?
"And you... sorry, yeah, a joint would be great... then you can kill me".
She says... "you're clear"... "It's obvious you're not DEA... I'll see you tonight in my captains quarters,"... and she left.
Well, I never saw her later... the ship was attacked by drones... hell-fire missiles... the ship is sinking... the attack opens my cage... I go on deck and see a ton of ganja and a ton of tobacco... and my sail-boat... no one else is around... all smoke and dead... I have moments to act... and my GPS starts working again and I see I'm in the middle of the Atlantic ocean... and there's an uncharted island off about a mile away...
Being as I'm on a ship about to sink... what do I do???
Next time, on BobKat's Island... doing the best thing when expecting to be Robinson Caruso for the next 30 years...
very light hearted and humorous
ReplyDeleteNo doubt about it, Bob Kat. The tobacco would have to go overboard, without a doubt. And I smoke cigarettes. Which I have an appointment to see my doctor about, to get something to help me quit. I'm not one of those lucky ones, who say, "just put them down, if I can do it, you can do it". ! I had smoked cannabis for years, at times, everyday, throughout the day, and never had a problem when it wasn't available, no matter how long. Never have I been addicted to anything, but CIGARETTES! They are just a 'legal drug'. No problem there. I would gladly dump all the tobacco in favor of cannabis, any day, any week, any second, any year.
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