TRAIL OF BOBKAT - Confessions of a Tobacco Addict; Part One

It's been two weeks now without smoking tobacco.

To many that may not mean much, but to others, it does. Ironically with tobacco "we're given a choice". Pay the tax, smoke it. Kill yourself. To those who never indulged, you're fortunate. Tobacco is bad stuff.

I have struggled with tobacco addiction since around age 16. From 40 years ago.

I've quit before,  for as long as 3 years, twice... a year or more a couple other times... and always i told myself this was it - the end. But always, the "fix" was everywhere around me, advertising, and state taxes depending on cigarettes being sold. They kill people, and they'll contribute to my death, even though once again I've quit.

2 Weeks Now...

Tobacco truly is a schedule one type drug... the true form of such a drug... but it can't be outlawed, any more than alcohol can be.

I saw my doctor yesterday due to a cough... I have chronic bronchitis, and am going for tests for COPD.

In my early 20's I would have gladly dropped tobacco if cannabis was legal. Today, because each plant is different, and tobacco just happens to be one of the most unhealthy, I'd be pretty healthy if I'd been able to smoke a little pot rather than have a pack or two a day habit for tobacco.

Prohibitive laws are mostly political, not for public safety. The science behind which "drugs" are legal and which aren't is often not based on any science. And no two plants are a like - except for basics like anything burned creates CO (carbon monoxide). Plant tars are a science of itself... no two plants have the same chemistry/tars and the effects of each is different.

It just so happens tobacco is one of the worst plants to use, let alone be addicted to it. Cannabis is one of the safest, but one of the most illegal.

My doctor asked me, considering the rapid success to my not smoking tobacco, if I had cravings for tobacco? I told him no. The reasons:

1) My housemate grossed me out after my other HM dropped a cigarette under her desk, 4 days into my cessation, he found it first and knowing how much it might mean to me, he offered it to me. After he stuck it up his nose.

2) In a previous post I wrote about "K2" type cannabis substitutes that are being marketed. I had said No to them. Well, now I'm saying yes. Compared to the alternative, smoke tobacco, can't get cannabis, "K2 Type" quality smoking products are worth buying; not addictive, herbal in form and mostly safe to use. They get you slightly high, but mostly it's simply pleasant to smoke.

In life we have to make choices. Sometimes we can actually accomplish our goal. Other times, for whatever reason it doesn't work out, or it only works for awhile. For myself  I've always wanted to understand the choices I make, but am at the same time pummeled by opinions and do-gooders that feel they know better.

Yes... this is my autobiography. It is that because I can't pretend to be an entertainer or journalist. I am a writer... and that's what i'm going to do. Write.

It's all fiction... and what? Do you think I'd write the truth about my life? Ironically, though truth is stranger than fiction, fiction based on truth is stranger than life. The reason is, our advanced cognitive abilities creates a paradox of expression, like how do we "be ourselves" if being ourselves means to admit we do things questionable by "society"? Our advanced tools and means of communication make it obvious we are to share... but share what?

If you're within the embrace of the culture - married, with children, college degrees, and "normal" lifestyle, you win. If you're outside of that region, you play the game. Nobody that I know enjoys playing games to survive, but that the way it is. And that is the where of where this autobiography is going to.

I give this country a grade of A for protecting our 1st Amendment rights. I also give Henry V. Miller, recognition and credit for making that a reality... for confronting the right wing extremists who felt they had a legal right to dictate morality and freedom of speech.

The early 20th century was extraordinarily interesting... an interest of mine, let's say.

And the vote of 46% - 54% to legalize cannabis in CA was a victory. After 70+ years of extreme propaganda and ruined lives over a plant that is primarily beneficial, to have 46% of the population of such a large state vote YES, is very significant. I would have been happy with 33%.

To understand my autobiography, you need to understand I'm one of those people that was transformed in a very positive way when introduced to cannabis. I was also one of those people most strongly opposed to it. It makes me wonder if I had been a kid around age 16 in Germany, 1938, if by 1940 I wouldn't have deserted the German Army and gone underground working for the resistance?

What side are you on??? Would you turn your neighbor in for offering you cannabis? Would you see that as similar to murdering your neighbor? Do you see how tobacco, not cannabis, is killing millions of people? Do you see how to make a decision we need the facts?

My autobiography will be anything but boring...

Whether I'm dead tomorrow or 50 years from now (106), my life is my life, and I've not hurt anyone, nor any soul.

I pray I'm alive when cannabis is legal... when terrorists like Eric Holder who threaten the citizens of CA if they vote in a way he doesn't like is gone... good riddance. Our political system is broken... because, We The People don't make the decisions... in many cases, special interests do. A 46-54 % vote to legalize cannabis in CA should be a wakeup call to Washington, and Pres. Obama. You can have your "War on Drugs", Just Leave Cannabis Out of IT!!!

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