June 30, 2012

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE LINKED TO MARIJUANA USE

Government officials are abuzz and taking a hard, second look at relaxed marijuana laws in their states after recent news that a Florida man, who ate the face of another man, was found from toxicology tests to have had marijuana only in his system, and nothing else.

"The naked Florida man who chewed off the face of another man last month in a zombie-like cannibal attack used marijuana but not "bath salts" as police had suspected, authorities said Wednesday."

"Rudy Eugene, 31, was killed by a police officer after Eugene's 18-minute attack on a homeless man. His body didn't show "any other street drugs, alcohol or prescription drugs, or any adulterants found in street drugs," according to the Miami-Dade County Medical Examiner Department."


(High on Drugs) SOURCE: YOUTHEDESIGNER.COM

Although many experts warn that any perceived link between marijuana and this unfortunate case are unlikely and down-right ludicrous, some government officials aren't too sure. One government official, who wished to remain anonymous, stated: "Any perceived link between marijuana use and zombies is one too many links for me. We all know how dangerous marijuana is, and now we have proof... just look back at the last 75 years and it's obvious what havoc marijuana use has caused society and, now this!" He gulped. "Zombies!!!"




The CDC however maintains there is no such link: CDC Denies Existence Of Zombies Despite Cannibal Incidents..." Posted: 06/01/2012 11:15 am Updated: 06/01/2012 3:50 pm

That hasn't stopped some high level officials from considering what may be "best for public safety". It's been rumored that Congress is already considering an emergency law that would canvass for all past known users of marijuana, and relocate them to a compound in Death Valley.

"If it's true", said one official, "that marijuana causes zombies, then we have to do something, and fast!"

Those warning against making a connection point out simply that finding past marijuana use in a body does not constitute being high on drugs. Past marijuana use by a person can be detected up to a month or longer after the fact. They add, "that's why prohibition of cannabis, and the current model of testing for illegal drugs, especially marijuana, is considered the "gold standard"; most other drugs vanish from one's system in less than a week.

Hakeem Jeffries, from CNN writes: "Marijuana law just creates criminals" - June 06, 2012. "More than 50,000 people in 2011 were arrested in New York City (alone), for possessing small amounts of marijuana..." he writes. Most of those arrested were tricked into violating the law, as NY decriminalized small amounts of marijuana in 1977, except when in "public view", so officers demand suspects turn out their pockets, making any marijuana a public spectacle.

"That may be a good thing", exclaimed one anonymous NY official, "that's 50,000 potential zombies that we now know about"!

After over 75 years of hard-line government prohibition and intervention into the use of marijuana, though proponents for decriminalization of marijuana cite it as "virtually harmless", anti-marijuana warriors now have found a cause for their extreme concern and, vindication for their relentless pursuit and prosecution of marijuana users. As one ONDCP official has proclaimed, "marijuana is not a harmless plant". And this is the proof!!!

Wow! Time to pack my bags and get ready to join President Obama and many other dignitaries and average people at Stalag 420...

Seriously though, after more than 75 years of treating marijuana users like potential or literal zombies, don't you think it's time to stop the madness? The truth is, cannabis had/has nothing what-so-ever to do with what motivated the man in Florida to attack the other man and victimize him. It only highlights how gullible people are in believing that marijuana is a serious danger to society; how scared people can become and stigmatized to reach out and seek psychological help if they think they may need it.

It's time to end the madness and stop the hurt. It's time to get real. Cannabis doesn't create zombies!

(I Want Some...) SOURCE: YOUTHEDESIGNER.COM

No comments:

Post a Comment