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lovers -rajunasrefuge
In Part One I described a scenario - where within the battle between the sexes I don't fit in. That the battle itself will never really be resolved. That unlike attitudes regarding ethnicity, country of origin and religion, there will always be unsolved differences between the sexes. There is no question that men and women have physical differences. It's when we get into the psychology of the differences that we get into a complicated, complex mess.
It is simply not valid to say "all men are pigs" and women are "sugar and spice and all things nice". That is a generaliztion, that has no basis in reality. Yet many, believe it to be true.
***
About Me:
My life started off exceptionally good. When I was born in 1954 my father was in the Navy. They lived in NJ, Tom's River. My dad and my mom loved me for all it was worth. And my dad's future looked quite promising... his father was president of a prestigious business located in NYC, and my father would most likely follow in his footsteps. Only he didn't... my grand-father died of a heart attack at 54, and an aunt, his wife, had no interest in my grand-father's side of the family, ie, my dad, so that quickly put to rest any hopes my father may have had.
We moved back to my mother's town. Where her mostly Swedish family lived. I'm 50% Swedish. It's my father's side where I get some interesting genes... French, Dutch, Bohemian, German...
The town I grew up in was once voted an "All American City". It had many brick paved roads, modest sized homes, quaint yards, many parks and businesses. I was fortunate!
***
I have a sister a year and a half younger than me. From around the age of 5, I remember hanging out with my sister and two of her friend's, Julie and Ann. They were my friends, and we had other friends in the neighborhood too. I remember singing the song "Row, row, row your boat..." playing "Mother May I", and Hop Scotch... idyllic days...
I was probably around 6 or 7 year's old when my mother became concerned. She was afraid if I continued to hang out with my sister and her friends, I would become gay. So she proceeded to manipulate my life to get me more involved with other boys in the neighborhood. Her rational was ludicrous, but the end result ultimately may have been good... on the other hand, most likely i would have found my own way to other friends - male and female. But what stuck in my mind was the fact I was not suppose to hang out with females.
***
Fast forwards 14 years...
The goal of this post, this series, is to show how stereotypes, male, female are misunderstood. Somehow, as far as i can tell, I grew up with a perspective of the sexes quite different, yet right on as far as equality of the sexes was ideological. I was ahead of my time...
The goal of this post, this series, is to show how stereotypes, male, female are misunderstood. Somehow, as far as i can tell, I grew up with a perspective of the sexes quite different, yet right on as far as equality of the sexes was ideological. I was ahead of my time...
***
I moved out on my own at 18. I couldn't wait to get out, away from family rules and conditions... I move into the upstairs set of an apartments of an old Horse-stables converted into apartments. The college campus is my back-yard. I sell my car, and my life begins...
I am working at the time towards an Associates degree, at the local community college; that was begun while I still lived at home with my parents. I'd had two girlfriends by then... the first, in 8th grade, lasting a full week that seemed like years, her name was Brenda. Then, around 17, I was introduced to Diane. We lasted 3 years or so, but it wasn't great in any respect. I was still a virgin. I lost that with a woman, a total stranger, at a NY State Park while several of us male friends went camping... interesting in that it happened that way... tragic in that it wasn't with a woman I knew, that if I know what I know now, we could have had a much better experience. But the fact is... in our society, sex is taboo...
I am working at the time towards an Associates degree, at the local community college; that was begun while I still lived at home with my parents. I'd had two girlfriends by then... the first, in 8th grade, lasting a full week that seemed like years, her name was Brenda. Then, around 17, I was introduced to Diane. We lasted 3 years or so, but it wasn't great in any respect. I was still a virgin. I lost that with a woman, a total stranger, at a NY State Park while several of us male friends went camping... interesting in that it happened that way... tragic in that it wasn't with a woman I knew, that if I know what I know now, we could have had a much better experience. But the fact is... in our society, sex is taboo...
***
At 20 my family expected I'd get married soon. It was also expected I'd graduate from the community college and get a job teaching, or go on and get a higher degree. I did neither.
I got a job as a custodian at the community college; I dumped Diane; and I met Sue. The job as a custodian at the community college was the best thing that ever happened... in my Favorite Books Section of my blog, I list "R is for Rocket"... it's because of this book, the short story called "Frost and Fire", that I went this route. It was a most unique turn of events...
I got a job as a custodian at the community college; I dumped Diane; and I met Sue. The job as a custodian at the community college was the best thing that ever happened... in my Favorite Books Section of my blog, I list "R is for Rocket"... it's because of this book, the short story called "Frost and Fire", that I went this route. It was a most unique turn of events...
Unfortunately... I was about to face my roots... where "blood is thicker than water..." Family is suppose to come first... and as the now adult bird takes flight... to experience the world... the family has a surprise.
Next time... "Family dinner, two o'clock... this Sunday"... be there.
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An interesting story in how you became the person you are today. I had to laugh about the hanging out with too many girls at a young age might make you gay--I think it just would mean that you'd know more about hair products than the next guy.
ReplyDeleteActually, my parents wished I would have been able to say one sensible sentence in front of a girl growing up--hanging out with them would never have happened for this introvert. Fortunately, I changed.