Greetings on Wednesday, May 26, 2010...
Feeling better... had a virus and the doctor recommended a sea-voyage... he cautioned against the Gulf of Mexico - there were issues, like illegal drugs, ie, marijuana and such... oh, and a minor oil spill...
So I headed to - ah, sorry, my GPS is malfunctional... but I'm out here on the open ocean, taking in the fresh sea air... I'm on a sale-boat... I meant sail-boat, lol!
Oh, Oh... pirates...
Strayed too close to somewhere... the captain can't explain it...
We're captured... the good news... tons of cannabis on board; the bad news, I'm American, and my captives think I'm working for the DEA. I attempt, am attempting to explain I don't... "read my blog", I plead...
Next up... while my fate is being decided, a transport ship is sighted... the pirates quickly overtake it... it's full of Turkish tobacco!
I'm being held in the bowels of the ship - a wooden vessel I figure is a ghost ship from the 1600's. I've been here six hours now... been fed some gruel I don't dare ask what it is, and am awaiting my interrogation.
I don't have to wait long... the commandant of the pirates comes down to meet with me personally... I swear she looks like Daryl Hannah, the "Kill Bill" movie star... eye-patch and all...
She tells me I read your "BLOG"... but points a Desert eagle, 50 c pistol at me, nonetheless... she asks: "Why should I trust you?"
I say: " because I'm on vacation and I'm really not feeling very well... and as a matter of fact, death here and now would be better then next Tuesday when I have to go back to work!"
She stares at me with her one beautiful eye... "admit it, you work for the DEA?"
"No, no", I say... just out here on doctors orders...
She says "prove it".
I don't know how... instead I simply ask "if I'm going to die, could I at least have some of the cannabis on-board?"
"That all you want", she asks?
"And you... sorry, yeah, a joint would be great... then you can kill me".
She says... "you're clear"... "It's obvious you're not DEA... I'll see you tonight in my captains quarters,"... and she left.
Well, I never saw her later... the ship was attacked by drones... hell-fire missiles... the ship is sinking... the attack opens my cage... I go on deck and see a ton of ganja and a ton of tobacco... and my sail-boat... no one else is around... all smoke and dead... I have moments to act... and my GPS starts working again and I see I'm in the middle of the Atlantic ocean... and there's an uncharted island off about a mile away...
Being as I'm on a ship about to sink... what do I do???
Next time, on BobKat's Island... doing the best thing when expecting to be Robinson Caruso for the next 30 years...
INTRODUCTION:
Welcome to BobKat's Lair ®™
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A lair is a home; A castle; A burrow; A haven; a place where one should feel safe. To ensure our safety especially in one's lair, we have laws. And some laws cause more harm than good!
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Please Note: This Blog, with the Trademark "BobKat's Lair"™ is legally registered and under US law cannot be used without my express permission. In addition, all material produced by within this blog-site is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced without my express permission. It may be used for your own purposes as long as there are no monetary gains of which I am not notified and not entitled to benefits. You are welcome to post links of my content, with the disclosure that this material is trademarked and copyrighted by "BobKat's Lair".
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very light hearted and humorous
ReplyDeleteNo doubt about it, Bob Kat. The tobacco would have to go overboard, without a doubt. And I smoke cigarettes. Which I have an appointment to see my doctor about, to get something to help me quit. I'm not one of those lucky ones, who say, "just put them down, if I can do it, you can do it". ! I had smoked cannabis for years, at times, everyday, throughout the day, and never had a problem when it wasn't available, no matter how long. Never have I been addicted to anything, but CIGARETTES! They are just a 'legal drug'. No problem there. I would gladly dump all the tobacco in favor of cannabis, any day, any week, any second, any year.
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