May 11, 2010

UNDER THE RUG... by BobKat - Part One

My life... swept under the rug.

Truthfully, that's where you'd find me.

In the mid to late 70's a story formed in my mind - one with a title inspired by my mentor at the time, Professor Doug. The title of this "epic" novel would be "A View From Behind the Mop". My mentor suggested writing it from the third person perspective... but my heart wanted to do it first person, autobiography - fictional to give me creative liberties, much as the author who so inspired me during those years - Henry Miller.

With my John Miller multi-post series I tried the third person approach. To me it was a flop. Provided information and details, about the early days, but I couldn't break free. I found myself stuck in mud. In a purgatory of sorts where i could neither stay where I was, nor go on. Yet i can't give up.

You won't read the whole story here... this is an "open-house" where you'll get to meet the "family and friends". The historic ones.

My goal is truth, and an interesting story, of a young man who found everything he'd ever dreamed of, and found he had a real life, a down to earth life... one backed by sciences, by the educational establishment, by fate.

Tonight driving home, I was listening to NPR... the topic I forget, but something the guest said I didn't... he was raised in a family where he was - let's say, accepted, and what struck me was something his mother said to him when he expressed concerns about a career change... the guy was up there, successful... his mother said - "I'd love you just as much even if you were a garbage man."

That choked me up... as that seems right, that's unconditional love. It choked me up even more as my family professed the same... yet, when I discovered an early miracle had occurred in my early 20's that would turn my life around, the opposite was the reality. Painful... I became a college custodian, and my mother turned on me, disgraced and shamed... which would turn on me, making my chance in life into an ultimate nightmare... but painful as it is, I must tell the story.

One of my readers told me what he liked about my blog. My "honesty". Yes, I am that. And so, maybe I don't write often as other bloggers, but I hope when i do i write interesting posts. What will follow under this title, will be my life, a part of it that if I took peoples advice and "let it go", it would be like tearing my heart out - so I wouldn't get far after that!

This is the intro... what follows... much of what you've guessed about the 70's but didn't ask... from an insider...

My life under the rug.

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