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A lair is a home; A castle; A burrow; A haven; a place where one should feel safe. To ensure our safety especially in one's lair, we have laws. And some laws cause more harm than good!

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Time for the awakening...

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January 30, 2012


Wow... I met a wonderful woman online. I courted her the past 5 months. We are a bit distant from each other, but we made the best of it. Two weekends ago I helped her move into a new apartment. No "over-night guests" at the old place, so now, at least I had a couch to sleep on.
Not. She's dumping me. Yeah. She really is.
Which brings me to the subject of suicide - taking one'own life.
First let me make clear I have no licenses in psychology. I'm not a clinician of any kind. I simply have experience. An my good, old, trusty BA in English - makes me a legit writer, yeah. Power to Education.
I always thought Socrates was the first of ancient persons to take their own life. He drank a lethal brew of hemlock.
It turns out, he was sentenced to death by a jury in 399 BC, because his views were considered unconventional - yes, simple as that. He chose his form of death.
"Freedom of the soul from the body". Suicide.
I've had my fair share of exposures to suicides. There was an employee of mine, whose husband hung himself during X-mas. The owner of the facility we worked refused to give her time off to attend to his body and other matters. I was her manager, until the next day when i quit the job calling the owner an asshole, which he was. There went my resume listing "manager"...
During my time as a custodian at a community college in the 1970's I made two unforgettable acquaintance'. I was in my early 20's and both women were beautiful, very beautiful. One woman made me think of the French, Joan of Ark, short, dark hair, a face to love, and experiences... she was 26 when I met her.
The other woman was a model... in the sense she was beautiful, graceful, but by no means dumb. We had some very good discussions, but then one day she opened up about her body image. She hated herself. She felt the human body was wrong, not right, awkward. She decided she would rather be dead than living in her body. She did so, committed suicide. She was at most 22.
My French friend, she told me one day she was in the nursing program to learn how to properly kill herself. Age 27 she shot herself at the local general hospital, in the restroom.
There was my cousin's best friend, a beautiful woman I got to know well with 3 kiddos and a husband. We used to share "feelings" together. We had fun together. She killed herself and i adopted a kitten the day my cousin and I visited her husband after her death. The cat was my closest companion for the next 11 years, until he died... with him, she died forever, and I was devastated.
Fact is: My father made me promise not to kill myself. He could see I was capable of it from a young age. And so far, so good. But considering the reason's why some choose suicide and others don't... maybe it's the fact I was a 70's person, and going to a therapist was in style, along with self-help books and a lot of questions about "Who Am I", and "What Is My Purpose in Life?" We embraced the challenge. Many of us benefited from the unusual therapies. We took personal risks other generations didn't dare take. For many of us, the "baby-boomer" generation, the results were mixed, but overall positive. For others, not so good.
I'm an idealist, and always around the corner is a better life... some would call that hopeful, others would describe that as being a basic foundation of the American principal, the never ending "pursuit of happiness" that our culture encourages, or at least as a "Constitutional ideal". I'm finding that in reality, life is indeed difficult, and finding happiness is more and more elusive... The very nature of what got Socrates sentenced to death, for example, is still alive and well in 21st century America... the overt demand for conformity. Some people do better shedding the need to conform than others, or the ability to conform and find pleasure in that, however, even successful people have trouble feeling as one with society sometimes, and find they can't live with themselves. And it's sad. I don't believe it has to be that way. But again, I'm an idealist.
Feeling awkward about ourselves or our body... ? Granted, sometimes that is unavoidable, especially when we obsess about it, yet often, it is simply a difficult task as we become more keenly aware of our differences among others, our physical form, or the burdens we carry.
Seems the role of government in that respect would be more one of acceptance, and less frivolous regulations when it comes to what rights adults have in pursuit of their dreams. But alas, governments, religions, and group ideals don't often help, instead, they are designed to enforce a ideal of their own, a lock-step of sorts, and the result is a large segment of the population doesn't feel like they "fit in".
I'll conclude with a very touching, recent story of a SOAP Actor who recently took his own life. Nick Santino, unemployed, was "forced" to euthanize his dog Rocco, on Nick's 47th birthday. Nick got Rocco, a mixed pit-bull, from a shelter, lived in an apartment complex the originally allowed pets. They changed the rules, but "grand-fathered" pre-existing pets as okay to keep.
But for Nick that was at a price...
Santino couldn't live after that... and that's all it takes.
Hey, us human beings, we're a tough lot. But we've got feelings. Part of those feelings is where do we fit into humanity, our brethren?
I can tell you suicide is not the answer, but the solution is complicated. It requires standing back from the present and reassessing the future. With more than two solutions present at all times, one's third eye can often see a way out. I've witnessed it many times. Yet still, those who took their own lives, it's so sad, as it still seems so unnecessary, unjustified and unfair to us still living.

January 29, 2012


The phrase above (source: WordPress) is from Dante's Inferno, part one of a 14th century, epic poem titled, "Divine Comedy". It's about Dante's walk through Hell's 9 circle's of suffering guided by the Roman poet, Virgil.
"The poem begins on the day before Good Friday in the year 1300. The narrator, Dante himself, is thirty-five years old, and thus "halfway along our life's path" (Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita)—half of the Biblical life expectancy of seventy (Psalm 90:10). The poet finds himself lost in a dark wood in front of a mountain, assailed by three beasts (a lion, a lonza [rendered as "leopard" or "leopon"], and a she-wolf) he cannot evade, and unable to find the "straight way" (diritta via)—also translatable as "right way"—to salvation. Conscious that he is ruining himself and that he is falling into a "deep place" (basso loco) where the sun is silent (l sol tace), Dante is at last rescued by the Roman poet Virgil, who claims to have been sent by Beatrice, and the two of them begin their journey to the underworld. Each sin's punishment in Inferno is a contrapasso, a symbolic instance of poetic justice; for example, fortune-tellers have to walk forwards with their heads on backwards, unable to see what is ahead, because they tried, through forbidden means, to look ahead to the future in life. Such a contrapasso "functions not merely as a form of divine revenge, but rather as the fulfilment of a destiny freely chosen by each soul during his or her life.""
I would say my goal in life is to prove that life can suck, only to die, anonymous for eternity, but that it doesn't have to be that way.
It is an ironic time for me to say that, as the truth is, presently, life sucks big-time, and I expect to die any day now. BUT, I know what I know... and once a feeling of success is experienced fully, it never goes away.
Nor do experiences with guilt attached, or failure; letting someone down or failing them; making a stupid decision and possibly causing harm, death or damage. Ahhh... growing up.
Worse yet, is being an innocent victim... getting raped by someone you trust, taking the fall for something you didn't do; being misunderstood; being bullied.
There's a lot in the news lately about brutal, senseless crimes. I'm not going to name any explicitly, but either it's the media tends to cover and report these crimes more that ever, or I'm simply more sensitive to their existence.
There's no question that given the economic trauma of the last ten years that quality of life has gone south. More people are finding themselves desperate and depressed. It's sad; a sad state of affairs.
But the worst thing a person can do is what this post warned: "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here".
The time may come to do that... but the real battle in life is with death. One can never lose hope. One always has more than two choices in life. The answer always lies in what the question is that's asked.
During the 1970's I can honestly say I lived my life to the fullest. I can never forget those years, though it pains me how the memories from those days fade. That to me was life in all it's different shades and colors. Heaven and Hell.
Yeah, not all memories fade so quickly. The really painful ones, they never go away.
Next Post, Why Suicide, Why is Non-Conformity as Bad Thing, Why Take Others Down With Yourself?

January 27, 2012


Go ahead, type that query into Google and you'll get 2, 130,000 results. Yikes! That many hits??? So, where to begin?
How about the English Rock Band album - Cerebral Fix, the band that released an album by that name - "Life Sucks, Then You Die" in 1988. The origin of the expression itself I don't believe is known. The reality is, many people feel this expression is true on a daily basis. That is the reason for this topic... dealing with the reality.
Mike Treder, who posts on writes as good of an article on the topic as I believe is possible. A brief excerpt:
"As an existentialist, I am committed to the recognition that most of life is suffering. To be born is to die, and to live is to experience pain and agony.
Only the tiniest fragment of humanity has ever been so fortunate as to “enjoy” life, even briefly. The vast majority of humans who have ever lived have perished in anonymity, their hopes, dreams, joys, passions, laughter, tears, toils, fears, and even names lost forever, abandoned to oblivion."
He goes on to offer hope:
Others are not so optimistic:
ThinkExist, for example...
Wow! That sucks!
I have the sort of job where I can browse the internet 8 hours a day in between the work I do. I read the news... most of it is bad news. What's not bad is offensive... what's not offensive is disgusting. So why do I do it. I do it because the internet is my only way to keep abreast of life, and whats happening.
Not all of it is depressing, though. I love what's happening in science, space exploration, cures for diseases, and positive people with a positive role in shaping our future. Angelina Jolie, for example; Bill Gates and malaria prevention and cures; Lady Gaga, her activism! ... yeah, odd choices. Forever being edited, updated and subject to change.
It ALL started for me at birth. Yeah, imagine that - birth. Something my mother would remind me about for 50 years of my existence until I finally told her I don't want to be reminded... about how she gave birth to me... oh joy! And all.
My parents were very decent folks, even if they were neurotic. But here's the thing... on a personal level, why I am a member of the "Life Sucks, Then You Die" collective.
When I was around 16 they took me to a shrink... I was bullied terribly in MS and HS and they were very concerned. It turned out I saw the shrink once, however my parents went for months.
The shrink told them I was "normal", yes, NORMAL but that I needed direction and rules. He told them 1 in 99 people are what shrinks consider "normal"; and to imagine that he considered me one of the 1% who were normal. Let me tell you, looking back, that is not a good thing! I'd give anything to be abnormal... lol!
What was barely tolerable before I saw the shrink, became completely intolerable afterwards. To this day I'm not sure what really happened, I simply know my mother started controlling my every move and my father, oddly, was the "good guy". Like bad cop/good cop.
I graduated HS and by age 18 I couldn't wait to get out on my own... my psyche was changing, maturing...
At the time the only things I knew about life was that "when the bird leaves the nest it needs to survive"... which is exactly what my plan was. To survive, and prosper. That was the seed my parents planted, a seed I wished to grow.
This is simply the tip of the iceberg...
I became the Titanic... unsinkable. Or so I believed. What i didn't adjust for was family tradition... the lengths my mother would go to, especially after I moved out on my own, to assure that I conformed to expectations and tradition.
Although I know the simple answer, to this day I'm tortured by the WHY?
The best years of my life were age 18 to 24... after that it was plain old survival. I'm not ashamed to admit I was defeated, my goals destroyed, my life sent off in directions I'd never intended.
It was almost as if, finding "success" personally was a selfish objective. I know this is not true as I read about personal success stories everyday. I was simply not so fortunate, and it's been a curse ever since a particular day, an event that happened back in July, 1979.
My sinking ship...
And making the best of defeat and rebuilding my life...
Next Post: Life Sucks, Then You Die, but why by suicide (?) and what's the big deal about being unconventional? Why does life have to suck? Why can't we choose how to live and die? Why do some people have the urge to take down others with themselves? Is life really unfair, or is it simply a choice we've accepted as fact?

January 24, 2012


Imagine... there are no predators. You have wings, but it becomes unnecessary to fly. Your wings slowly disappear, to make you flightless. That is the Dodo bird.
A "chicken" that stood there to let you kill it... that was the Dodo.
First discovered by Dutch sailors in 1598, by 1681 the Dodo was hunted to extinction.
That is the inconceivable wish that the Federal government has with regards to users/affectionatoes of cannabis/aka marijuana. Eradicate marijuana users, as the theory goes, and you erraticate all "illegal drug users".
If you ask newt Gingrich, illegal drug users are users of cocaine and heroin. If you ask him if cannabis users should be arrested and jailed, he'd say "no". He has absolutely no cognizance of the average cannabis user. He firmly believes that not only are cannabis users unable to provide to a society, but they ultimately go onto harder drugs. Not true. It's all a boogeyman to him.
Hate to tell you Newt, a little late with the sermon... people have been using, what you call "drugs", for millennia. And, cannabis is not a "gateway-drug", so you can forget that line of drivel. Cannabis users, like the Dodo, feel safe in the USA.
You make clear they're not. And they're not. But do you expect to get elected having threatened a good 50% of the population with your "death-threats"???
Cannabis users aren't Dodos... they've been under attack since 1937... and are now victims of a undeclared war. The difference is... cannabis users statistically are well educated. Not stupid by any stretch!
Question for Newt (January 4, 2012 at Concord, NH Town Hall Meeting):
“I’m a recreational drug user, should I arrested?"
Gingrich: "No you shouldn’t be arrested, but you also shouldn’t do it.”
Newt's another one of these "born again politicians" that used to use cannabis and other "drugs", and has reformed their ways.
“Gingrich’s response to questions about his youthful drug experimentation (“That was a sign we were alive and in graduate school in that era”) was uncharacteristically graceful and in perspective and mature… ”
1 May 1995, New York Magazine, page 42: SOURCE:
Initially, in Newt's early years, during the 1980's he was pro-legalization, at least for medicinal purposes. In the 1990's he did a reversal... sponsoring a bill that would make marijuana smuggling a felony with a sentence of death.
So How did Newt go from supporting legalization of cannabis to outright hostility?
"See, when I smoked pot it was illegal," he reportedly told the Wall Street Journal's Hilary Stout in 1996, "but not immoral. Now, it is illegal AND immoral. The law didn’t change, only the morality... That's why you get to go to jail and I don't." reportedly Newt said.
So, okay, change of morality. But is Newt God? I guess in a way the way I read him he thinks he is. He implies, marijuana use is now a violation of morals? Holy Batman on that one... how does he validate that statement???
Several quotes summarize his position, courtesy of NORML:
“If you import a commercial quantity of illegal drugs… it is because you have made the personal decision that you are prepared to get rich by destroying our children. I have made the decision that I love our children enough that we will kill you if you do this.”
August 27, 1995, New York Times, Gingrich Suggests Tough Drug Measure
“I don’t have a comprehensive view. My general belief is that we ought to be much more aggressive about drug policy. And that we should recognize that the Mexican cartels are funded by Americans. In my mind it means having steeper economic penalties and it means having a willingness to do more drug testing.”
(Yahoo! News Interview, November 28th, 2011
“I think that we need to consider taking more explicit steps to make it expensive to be a drug user. It could be through testing before you get any kind of federal aid. Unemployment compensation, food stamps, you name it.
It has always struck me that if you’re serious about trying to stop drug use, then you need to find a way to have a fairly easy approach to it and you need to find a way to be pretty aggressive about insisting–I don’t think actually locking up users is a very good thing. I think finding ways to sanction them and to give them medical help and to get them to detox is a more logical long-term policy.”
(Yahoo! News Interview, November 28th, 2011
So, if you like to use marijuana, newt mandates detox...
He would like to see an increase in enforcing the War on Drugs.
Much like Mitt Romney, he's another "prehistoric thinker..." but what really gets to me is this quote:
“I think Jefferson or George Washington would have rather strongly discouraged you from growing marijuana and their techniques with dealing with it would have been rather more violent than our current government.”
(New Hampshire Voter Event, January 2012
I don't think so Newt! Especially Thomas Jefferson. Both probably even used it... it was a common herb and medicine even back then - far from being illegal, immoral, or discouraged.
Neither President believed infringing on the rights of adult individuals was good governing. But somehow Newt, you believe otherwise. Maybe that's why the Dodo bird appears in Lewis Carroll's - "Alice In Wonderland". Newt's in his own wonderland.
Think the casual cannabis user, generally with a college degree, is going to listen to Newt? Not likely.
Sorry Newt... but you're also a prehistoric thinker, like Mitt Romney.
Prohibition doesn't protect children. It endangers them.

January 22, 2012


Here begins my 2-Cents towards the upcoming Presidential Election. I'm the guy on the fence, a member of neither party. Even the Libertarian Party, though I like the Jeffersonian (ref towards: Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the US, 1801-1809) approach to politics, I feel we've grown far beyond what a Libertarian gov't could provide and accomplish.
What I'd like is a Party that's Not a Party. I'd like a government that is rational, realistic, fair and humane, believes in the US Constitution, Human Rights, Personal Rights and Liberties. One that serves and protects.
The question is who qualifies... Obama? Or one of the ever dwindling stock of Republican contenders? The only modern, really intelligent man I see is, Ron Paul, and his own party won't endorse him. The most conservative of the bunch, and he's seen as too libertarian.
Mr. Obama is a good man. He's smart. He's made some good decisions and at least things haven't gotten worse, yet. He's had the worst Congress perhaps in history to deal with, and overall, he's taken action in stride, not fumbling. But he's done some things in office that give me serious mis-givings. He's not done enough for the average guy/gal. He's not pushed for common sense, science based laws; protection of civil liberties, an end to the War on Drugs.
Now a part of me feels he's got the potential to do a lot of good if elected to another four years as President. Another part of me also realizes, he's not exactly the man who campaigned for President in 2008. It's like he was given a script, told to follow it when he was elected, and he's done what he can to both follow the rules and achieve his goals.
Would I vote for him again? Well that depends upon who's running against him. I wouldn't if Ron Paul was the nominee. More on that in my next post perhaps. What if, Mitt Romney was the nominee, as is now being predicted?
Mitt Romney:
Ex-Governor of Massachusetts. A state with a mandated health care-law that he created. The same law he now denounces as bad... this in response to President Obama's health care law. A state where marijuana was decriminalized for several years ago. Mitts state...
What's Mitt's views on marijuana? If you ask me my opinion, marijuana to Mr. Romney is a lot like a woman in a mini-skirt. Remember the 1960's? If not, here's a peek:
This gorgeous gal, circa 1960, is rocking the planet, from gov't perspective, same as marijuana and hippies.
Others felt a woman dressed like this was "begging to be raped". And that's no joke. Some people still believe it today. Just like some people today still believe marijuana is the gateway drug, to hard drugs.
Mitt Romney:
October 4, 2007, Romney speaking to students at St. Anselm Institute of Politics in Manchester, New Hampshire
Sorry Mitt... it's already open.
In this country maybe we've pretty much gotten over the min-skirt madness era... but in other parts of the world they have not. It's very much like politicians in this country do not want to understand, marijuana is much like a min-skirt. Using marijuana doesn't cause crime. In the majority of the cases it doesn't lead to hard drugs. It's safer than prescription forms of the plant, and in fact much safer than what most humans ingest. The Marijuana Myth is Broken!!!
In Malaysia, in the news recently, was the alleged attacks by street vendors on women wearing trousers and mini-skirts. The men in question assaulted the woman and stripped them naked. They claim they were enforcing the law.
The law they are speaking of, "The Decency in Dress Act", 1973, was repealed in 1993. It did in fact make it a crime for women to wear trousers or mini-skirts in public.
This is what a cannabis user feels like when accosted by inane laws. Laws with no more basis in reality than women should not wear mini-skirts or trousers.
I don't believe Mitt Romney seriously knows what is a danger to society today. I think he pretends to know. There may be hope for him, just as there may be hope yet for President Obama.
By now most everyone is aware the of the fact that use of marijuana does not lead to hard drugs or increased crime. It's been legal for years in CA, NY, CO, ME, CT, AZ... and a number of other states. The nations rate of homicides I read recently is down, to # 16, the first time since the 1960's. And in MA, people are not jumping out of windows, nor has there been an increase in crime. CA is still more likely to fall into the ocean than it is to get overrun by hoards of rabid cannies/cannabinoids. Time for this country to get real... deal with real problems, and let people alone that aren't harming others.
A woman wearing a mini-skirt is not an invitation to rape, anymore than a marijuana user is a future user of hard drugs or or a threat to society.
50,000 dead in Mexico, and 100'000's Americans with criminal records, or incarcerated because
of the noble cannabis plant. Thousands more either dead in the US because cannabis is a thriving underground business, with many shady and dangerous players. The War on Drugs is like a war on the mini-skirt. There's no Just Cause to make war on people because of what they wear, read, express or ingest.
This link to The Women's Center for Change (WCC) Panang offers an excellent "Myth Vs. Reality" when it comes to the myth about the mini-skirt, as well as other worthwhile reminders; the point being - a woman wearing clothes is not inviting rape, just as a person using marijuana is not asking for trouble, nor likely to harm society just because... it's a mindset people have, and when the laws cause more harm to society than the perceived goal and/or validity of a law, it's time to stop. As they did in Malaysia.
Not that Malaysia has a great Human Right's record, but then neither does the US.
When voting for President I want someone with for the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and a respect of an individual's pursuit of "Life, Liberty and Happiness".
Mitt Romney is a prehistoric thinker. It's time he and others realize the year is 2012. It's not 1912... Mitt Romney is not a man who thinks like a 21st Century thinker. He's stuck in the past, and we really need a future of real change. The kind President Obama promised.
Think FREEDOM, Legalize cannabis! Vote to Stop The Hurt!
And Save the Mini:
Jane Birken, c 1960's
Twiggy, c 1960's
Amsterdam Cannabis Cup Winner: White Widow