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A lair is a home; A castle; A burrow; A haven; a place where one should feel safe. To ensure our safety especially in one's lair, we have laws. And some laws cause more harm than good!

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November 30, 2010


As I contemplate (and write) this next part of "Why Are We Here", I can't help but come back to "me, myself and I".

Afterall, in case you don't know, reality is subjective. That's a fact. And so, I have no idea why "we" are here. I'm not sure I really know why I am here.

It's nothing mystical, no trick - this "reality is subjective" clause to our existence. It's simple fact. Everything we believe, everything we learn, take in, experience is interpreted subjectively. Within ourself, subject to our own disposition to an experience.

Fortunately, us humans possess the ability to think objectively, however, it is something we learn to do. It's popularly called "thinking outside the box". Easier said, than done, I might add.

It usually starts out as an insignificant event. For example, let's say we vote strictly Republican. Yet, during an election there is a Democrat that we find we really like. We may torture ourselves with the idea of voting for the person, we may imagine what others might think of us. We end up voting for the person...

1) the person loses. We are disappointed, yet we breathe a sigh of relief a Republican was elected, even though we didn't vote for the person.
2) the person wins; we feel both a rush of success, and a pang of guilt. We realize we helped the person win.

In both cases the fact is we thought outside the box. To many a very scary, self-deprecating act, initially. We get over it.

Life goes on.

But for many people, "thinking outside the box" is the norm. They may be called names, like "liberal", or immoral, or misguided. Or they may be admired... the latter of which I am fortunate enough to be a member.

Yet, I feel it's a no-win situation. The last Presidential election is one such example. By extraoridary popular vote not only is "a Black man" elected to be President of the US, but he's elected because the majority of "The People" find his "Message of Change" powerful and desirable. The PEOPLE want the change. The majority are tired of the "good old boys" style of politics. It's the 21st century, and the populace believes and acts on the realization it's time for a change. They'll begin with a new, charismatic, intelligent, sincere man who provides the message/change they have wanted for a long time.

The result. No change. Period.

To backtrack a few thousand years, remember our heritage... and no, I don't mean Colonial America, I mean the age of Kings, of Nobels, of us common people.

In previous posts I hopefully enlighted my readers of Genesis... from the Bible. I clarified first came Earth, then animals, then "man". Man went through some confusing changes. God created man to, according to the Bible to "dominate all creatures". Then God put man to work. Man was depressed without a help-mate, so God tried giving man a pet. That didn't work. So then god put man into a deep sleep (drug induced, in my opinion), and when he awoke, he was missing a rib and looking into the eyes of a woman.

Quite a romatic story. But that aside, man found a mate. Trouble is, there were more than one woman around. And there were "drugs" (in the form of an apple, we're told).

Now man was for whatever reason burdened with tilling fields and doing hard work. Why, I have no idea, other than it's a metaphor for the simple fact our ancestors had to raise crops and cattle to become an agricultural society. A community with roots.

But we know the future... Eve consumed the forbidden drug, and surely they had sex. Without a Catholic Church to guide them, most likely both Adam and Eve had sex with multiple partners, gay sex included. We know Adam and Eve were thrown out of the Garden of Eden, into a hostile, unknown land.

Well that's what happens when one is confronted with the unusual... a conflict - when the Republican votes for a Democrat. That is what it's like to think outside the box... you not only "think it", you experience it.

What the Bible in Genesis is reveiling is becoming self-aware, and based on decisions we make, we find we make objective decisions. Doesn't mean reality is no longer subjective, as it is, but rather, it means using our hearts, minds and souls to make a decision, come to a conclusion that doesn't fit within our normal form of thought. We become "radical thinkers". Or revolutionists thinkers.

Grant you - we/you are HERE if you're reading this blog. But I can't tell you why we're here. And i can't fully explain why I'm here either. What i can say is my being here has not only had a big effect on my environment, but also the many people I've known within my environment.

I also know the same is true of you.

WE are you and I. So the real question is why are you and I here?

Why are we still tilling fields, still common folk or Kings and nobels... why do we have a government with promised change, that is locked in a battle of their own design, without regard for "We The People".

Why does it matter that a Pentagon report found 70% of the military finds no problem with gays serving openly in the military, yet the 30% with a problem are scaring them to postpone any action in changing current laws. And why is it that if 47% of Californians voted to legalize cannbis, that a mere 53% opposed carries so much weight?

Why? I already told you. Reality is subjective. It's only when one can think "outside the box" that reality takes on new meaning... the fact is, outside of our own self-determined view of reality, there is a world out there. A world in trouble. A people many of whom are suffering. And in many ways, for no practical reason, other than we have governments that don't know what or how to govern.

I give President Obama credit for trying, but he's not the person I thought he was. I see no real change, and although I know his hands are somewhat bound, there's much he could do to show the American people he meant what he promised. Change, transparency, science.

He has let himself to be drawn into the power game - Wall St., global conflicts, continuations of the Bush legacy, continued denial of the rights of the American People, their pursuite of happiness, their calls for justice, and for commonsense to prevail.

President Jimmy Carter was a far more powerful president. Under similar odds and barriers. Yet historically, he did provide change. He provided leadership; he provided Americans with a person in government, who cared, who tried to create change.

President Obama is compared to republican President Ronald Regan; as far as I know Pres. Obama embraces the connection. It's beyond me to understand why. He's nothing like Regan... but if he wants to act that way, who am I?

I'm just an American who can't pursue happiness any longer. I'm blocked at every effort. And there are millions, far worse off than myself.

I am a slug, a snail, bathed in slim, sliming my way through my day, working the job of 3 people, and I'm suppose to be thankful. And I am. I have no choice. My government failed to govern... they fail to think outside the box. They fail at comprehending and understanding the most basic things.

To be continued...

November 27, 2010


Here I sit, a natural born American, "enjoying" my Thanksgiving vacation.

I had Thursday and Friday off. Now I'm into Saturday...

As part of the "Why Are We Here" series I will provide an update on how I feel at this moment. I'm sure many of us wonder at this moment why we're here, now... ?

Is it to be happy? Successful? In love?

Kind of depends, doesn't it? Fact is, why we're here may not have anything to do with being any of the above. Fact is, where we live determines "why we are here".

I'm not going to into the "where" of where we live, I'm just saying, where we live has a lot to do with the "WHY"?

I live in the USA. I was born here. My parents were immigrants back in the early 1900's. My mother's side is pure Swedish. My father's side - now that's where it get's interesting: German, French, Dutch, Bohemian, and more. Good mix. Genetically speaking.

50% Swedish, and my other side a 50% mix.

The Swedish side of my family had expectations. It's with that side of the family I grew up. Near as I can conclude, children never grow up to become independent in that environment. It seems, children are expected to continue the status quo... extensions of the family. After reaching the age of maturity, be it 18 or 21, the "child" is expected to do as the family expects. Whatever the "child" does is a reflection on the family. There is the sense that one does not have "free-will", except as approved by the family.

This is not particularly uncommon. Look at many Muslim countries and you see a great discrepancy between the freedom of a male family member, and that of a female. Again, I'm not going to expound on the differences, other than to suggest, in many countries, females are very much subservient to the family rules, and the expectations - to the point that in many countries, if the female doesn't abide by the rules, incarceration or death may be the consequence. In some cases, moving to another country where laws are less stringent makes no difference. The "child" is subject to family rules.

On my father's side I can attest the "rules" were much less stringent. I recall a great deal of support to be myself from my relatives on my father's side. Unfortunately, growing up, I had that support every other year, maybe at Christmas time. Vacations. Holidays.

Why are we here?

In my case it was to get away from the family control. It took many of my most productive years to do so. Between the ages of 20 and 50+ the family influence was a constant. Ultimately, I had to declare a form of personal exile. Not an easy thing to do or accomplish. One doesn't exile oneself by desire, but rather, it's by necessity. It's painful.

One's family doesn't comprehend the action; can't see justification. Doesn't even recognize it as an action.

The world is changing... there is much ado about the break-down of the American family. There is much in the way of criticism, that our country has lost it's moral foundation.

Fact is, we value "education", yet disregard the results. The "typical family" expects results that are in line with family expectations. The fact is, education and knowledge are far, far beyond any expectations.

One reason we're here is to "push the envelope". The first college I attended had a motto - "Let Each Become All One is Capable of Becoming..." That was the goal I accepted ... much to the dismay of my family.

I became educated. I became self-aware. I became cursed!

Why are we here? Maybe all I can share is why I'm here. Maybe I can provide more.

I can firmly suggest, we're not here to be pigeon-holed. We're not here to be subservient to others, whether family nor government. We're not here to hurt others, but we are here to encourage change, and equality. We are here to promote freedom in pursuit of happiness. If we can make our families proud, great. If we incur the wrath of our family, so be it. 

We have a right to exist... to be ourselves and to live our life as we chose, as long as we don't hurt others. In the case where our actions portend to hurt the family, it's a judgement call... a decision to make. In my opinion you have no obligation to conform to family rules once you've come of age to make your own decisions. If what you choose defies family, too bad. As long as your life choice is not to hurt others, it's your option in life to live as you choose.

In my family taboo was being involved sexually with a woman of color, including Asian women. It was to not make marriage and children a priority. It was not to get a job, in just any field - there were "approved" jobs, and those that were unapproved. At age 20 I got one of the latter...

I was cursed as a result of that, and the fact I liked women. I didn't pursue college in the fashion expected of me, and I didn't dress, nor grow my hair as expected. The "perfect storm" ensued.

I am here today, suffering from my personal choices. The only remedy would be to go back and live my origin over again, something I cannot do.

Life is difficult... that is a given. I made my own decisions, and lived my life as i felt was personally acceptable. That I suffer today as a consequence - so be it. I have no regrets, other than there's no going back.

We are here... to be ourselves. Whatever the cost.

We won't live forever, so it's my opinion, with what time we have, live our life being true to ourself.  Family is important, but family does need to accept us as an individual when we come of age to use our education and experiences to become ourselves.

Why we are here is our own business!

November 25, 2010


Here today to wish family and friends "Happy Thanksgiving" 2010!

Here today to express my relief I don't have to go to work for the next 4 days.

Here today to enjoy our own home-bred turkey. (No Picture, sorry). Although I regret we have to kill it to eat it! But that's our livestock. We eat meat, yet we become attached to our live-stock, and that is life.

In the future maybe that will change. But for now that's the way it is. At least I know our turkey was treated very well, and had a good life. Plenty to eat. I will miss it's gobbling while I try and start my car in the mornings. Certain sounds entice a turkey to gobble. It's pretty cool.

I'm here to remind you, that despite all that's cool about our existence, there is much that sucks - sorry to remind you of that.

Our recent "Great Recession" has crippled hundreds of thousands of average people, myself included.Our banking system is now more dangerous than ever. Politics is more insane than it's ever been,  but there is still hope.

Some may argue success is in one's mind, attainable simply by shear belief in oneself. I'm accepting the new reality,  that with unemployment rates of 5% gone, as has been the standard in past generations, those rates will remain high for quite awhile. Both a world market and advancements in technology have fueled the reality.

That means, the employer has the advantage. If you're over 50, it's best to stay put. And for me that means a 150 mile commute, M-F. Burning a lot of gas, driving. Although I could move, my home is my home - and it means a lot to me.

Part Four will bring you back to the beginning ...

It begins with a book which I just added to my media list. A book I had forgotten about, but that was vital to who I am today.

Wiki Link: Fifth Business is a 1970 novel by Canadian novelist, playwright, critic, journalist, and professor Robertson Davies. It is the first installment of the Deptford Trilogy and is a story of the life of the narrator, Dunstan Ramsay. It is Davies' best-known novel, and considered his finest.

There are "leaders, followers, and fifth business..."

I am the latter.

Happy Holidays!


November 23, 2010


Part One is HERE

I ended Part One as a "Black Hole". Literally. That's what happens to some stars when they burn out, go nova.

The thing I'm curious about is,  what causes some stars to become black holes, and others to become red dwarfs. My science here may not be exact, but hope you get my point.

I ended Part One ahead of myself. I'm still here... not the black hole quite yet. Not the thousand year old mummy, buried with pounds of cannabis in what was once known as the state of NH, in the once great country - the USA.

Sure, time WILL change things. Already has and is... the rate of change is exponentially multiplying at a rate that only machine will be able to understand. Humans will simply guide and relate to machines. The machines will build themselves, with the help of humans. We will become symbiants. It's already happened.

I heard tonight on my way home from work, on the radio, the technology is here to "PRINT" 3-D objects. 30,000 such printers already exist and they'll "print" actual objects. 3-D functional objects. In the future, there will be no US Mail, no UPS or Fed-Ex... no stores, malls, or work-places. You'll download and print what you want, be it clothes, be it subsistence, be it a house. The tech is here, now. And as a techie, I assure you, the technology we will witness, in the coming years will blow your socks off! It is going to go way beyond anything humankind ever imagined or dreamed about.

The new reality will not only include sophisticated printers, but a new reality - a Global Web. It will include robotic dolls, that men or women can buy as mates. No more need to date, play games and risk STD's. They exist already, rather expensive though, and not particularly bright just yet with the latest AI. But that'll change real soon. Too bad I don't feel optimistic about seeing it... living long enough to enjoy the possibilities.

November 21, 2010


Until a few days ago this question - "Why are we here?" would have been a topic I wouldn't have been able to post. I tried asking that question of friends, but every time they looked at me like I was crazy. One friend said, "we're here because we are - it's simple biology". Another said - "it's not something I think about".

But when a MD asks the same question, and publishes an article on the subject, I figure that rather changes things. Robert Lanza, M.D. posted the following article: "Why Are We Here - A New Theory May Hold The Missing Piece".

A better title might be: "What Is The Meaning of Life?" Something I know from the 1970's was a common question.

Even Dr. Lanza's article leaves much to be desired.I quote from his article the following as an introduction:

Well, I have a further twist to this question, one that has been an obsession to me for years. 

Why now? 

On the cosmic clock I'm here and gone for approximately one micro-nano second... when considering the age of the universe.  Already billions of light-years have passed since "the Big Bang", when the universe was created. And yet here I am, now, cognizant of my existence; aware of my existence. Why???

 I believe, to be aware of my existence at this moment in time means there is something about me that exists beyond my past and present. How else would I be aware of my being here now? When essentially, I'm already dead and buried. Perhaps someday to be dug up by archeologists and examined. My life speculated about.

And what would they find?

My teeth would tell them I was brought up and raised in the NE of America. That I was well nourished and ate a variety of foods. It would tell them I was of European descent, most likely born in what was called the USA in the 20th century. That for several years after turning twenty I did manual labor, and then oddly, that changed around age 45 when I seem to have become sedentary.  It appears my diet changed. My lifestyle changed. That by age 55 I was suffering from several as yet unknown medical conditions. Chemical analysis might find evidence of alcohol and tobacco use,  and past use of cannabis. Of the three it might be curious why I appeared to favor the first two drugs... and why cannabis, which would have been far safer and more therapeutic was less used.

I might become the great debate as to what the norm was for people living during the 19th and 20th century. A thousand years from now, they might speculate that the addictive nature of alcohol and tobacco trumped the use of cannabis, and they would wonder why. A determination would be made that I had grown up well nourished, but succumbed to addiction to alcohol and tobacco. They would wonder why. They would wonder what happened to me after age 45 that I was sedentary.   That perhaps I was imprisoned. 

I doubt they could draw any conclusive evidence of life in my years that would make sense. And I concur. 

My blogs would be long gone. Most virtual online data would be long gone, and much written material would be scarce. My world would have ended in a mysterious explosion; a nuclear Armageddon perhaps.

What haunts me now, and will haunt me until the day I die is why am I aware of my existence presently? Why am I stuck in this time and place? Why are some of the most poignant changes and threats humankind has ever had to deal with occurring now? Have others in the past felt the same? Does every generation have those who wonder why? Why now? Why am I here?

Why are we aware of our existence - how is that possible, and will it simply end one day, for us, for what we think is a long and often painful existence? How can we know what we know now, unless something spiritual continues beyond our death? On the cosmic clock I am already born and deceased. I am an anomaly.  

If there is a Part Two I hope to further explore my existence. But I have to wonder if it's worth my time. My time which seems to be owned and controlled by others. 

There was a time it wasn't that way... or so it seemed at the time. That time was when I was in my 20's...  a time that seems so unreal now, so out of place. A time i keep going back to, time and again. A time that haunts me... a time where I had what's called "personal power", which for many years I've been without.

I can't help but consider friends who took their own life: suicide, it's called. And friends that died tragic deaths. I can't help but think of the madness that seems to encompass me, especially political madness, prejudice and slavery.

Of senseless murders, wars, persecutions.

I am you could say paralyzed to move on. Locked within myself. Able to look out and wonder why?

I also know, my reality is subjective. That my belief in a past, present and future is just one form of reality. I know this because in my "media list" is a book by Benjamin Whorf: about the Hopi Indians and their view of reality. The Hopi believed "there is that which was, and that which is in the process of becoming". The present and future is one. 

If that would have been the reality I was raised to believe I would not be stuck now. I would believe there is that which I experiences, and that which I now have within my power to live and change. But I don't feel that. I feel stuck, in my present. I feel enslaved by a society that has a fixed believe in what reality is. 

What those archeologists may not know is that what legal choices I had in life.  What the penalties were for those who didn't do as they were told. That a 40 hour plus work week was required, unless one was lucky enough to be born to wealth or stardom.

They would also not know that once I was a star.  A bright star. 

Now, or then, all they may see is a black hole. A quantum anomaly.

A mystery.

November 18, 2010


Updated/Edited: Nov. 19, 2010: 8PM

College students called it "Black-out"! An alcoholic beverage sold under various brand names has now been banned by the FDA, and is allegedly illegal in the state of NH.

According to latest news, the NH Liquor Commission has ordered all alcoholic beverages containing both alcohol and caffeine to be pulled from the shelves of retailers. Several companies which produce these "manufactured beverages" have been ordered to cease production. The names of these products is not relevant to this topic, the decision to do so is.

Several studies have, in my opinion correctly concluded that these beverages are potentially dangerous - in that use of these beverages "mask the level of intoxication" by users; particularly women and thin people with little resistance to the effects of alcohol. The facts conclude that the mixture of alcohol and caffeine into a marketable drink is dangerous. The user(s) may become intoxicated without the cognitive ability to recognize the danger they are exposed to, nor the risk to society; especially when driving a motor vehicle, or in situations involving interpersonal relationships.

These conclusions I have no doubt are legitimate. However the ban by the FDA and criminal penalties by states that have made them illegal are complex. Not only the impact to companies that make these products, but in addition, potential infringement on personal freedom. The laws are vague, and also quite sudden.

The essential facts are this.

Manufactured alcoholic beverages containing both alcohol and caffeine are potentially dangerous. Thus the ban and the alleged laws prohibiting such beverages.

The problem:

Alcohol is a manufactured product. It has to be processed from organic compounds and fermented/distilled. Manufactured beverages combining the two products, alcohol and caffeine are bottled, and packaged in a way that makes them appealing, along with similarly appealing advertising.

Recent regulations target this marketing practice are, in good faith. However, no distinction can be made between these beverages, and similar combinations involving alcohol and caffeinated soft-drinks, alcohol and coffee or the combination of alcohol and caffeinated over the counter substances.

This means, potentially, if you consume or possess any of the above you are, potentially, violating the law. You are technically subject to arrest. Also, it further entices youth, for whom experimenting with "drugs" is common, an open invitation to experiment with combinations of alcohol and caffeine (tablets) to mix them for the "black-out buzz".

The recent and sudden ban on such products is alarming. It is an advertisement as big as any bill-board can be.  A recipe for yet another dangerous fringe drug combination/mixture based on individually legal products.

The fact that such a ban and alleged laws were imposed with such rapidity suggests a failure of regulators to understand the consequences of their actions. Why were such bans/laws put in place so quickly? If in fact such a combination are dangerous as described, considerable thought and legislative action should have been pursued first. The manufacturers may have been quietly contacted and urged to cease production.

It is my opinion, the FDA, the NH Liquor Commission, acted irresponcibly  in invoking these regulations. They have created a dangerous situation!

Typical... and I hope, a opportunity to for people to question the minds of those who make the rules and laws in this country.

November 14, 2010


Believe it or not - I'm human.

I know, I'm in favor of legal cannabis, and not particularly fond of DARE, or "Abstinence Education" when it comes to sex. I'm not keen on our two party political system; I don't believe banning books like "Catcher in the Rye", "Tropic of Cancer", "Alice in Wonderland", are right.

Some might consider me a Libertarian, in the sense that all societal rules and regulations get tossed out the window along with the baby. They'd be wrong.

Some consider me a "liberal", but actually I'm quite conservative. In fact, I doubt many really understand the difference, as there is essentially, no difference. There is however a left and right wing view of politics, if you're into such things... but the fact remains, consider cannabis: the "right" calls it marijuana. The left cannabis, pot, ganja. God created and grows cannabis - that is a left wing view of cannabis. A left wing conservative believes it is not the governments right to infringe on ones use of this plant. The "right" believes, that's a "liberal view", that cannabis is a drug called marijuana, and it is extremely dangerous to society. It cannot be controlled as the "right believes it is "uncontrollable", being as it is "a drug". The fact that alcohol and tobacco are regulated and taxed is beside the point as they are legal, and therefore accepted by society. The fact that millions suffer and die from use of those products is irrelevant, as it's legal and society can make provisions for problems related to those commodities.

Cannabis on the other hand, though it kills no one and can be used responsibly, is illegal, and always will be illegal, because back in the 1930's the "truth of the dangers of 'marijuana' were made clear to the world".

For example, despite evidence since to the contrary that cannabis is a stepping stone drug to HARD DRUGS such as heroin and cocaine, the evidence is meaningless as marijuana is illegal and thus no amount of scientific updates are relevant. Marijuana is illegal just as murder is illegal. To consider the possibility that "the facts of the 1930's regarding cannabis were wrong", is like reconsidering the fact that Eve in Genesis was not wrong to eat of the apple that God explicitly told her not to eat! She did eat it, and convinced Adam to eat it. So God double damned women, single damned men, and all humanity is damned because of it.

That is life. Men get to have sex with women, and women must endure as they caused man to be cursed, and like today's just, we drink our alcohol, smoke our tobacco, but resist the urge to use cannabis... why? We don't want to be damned again.

To be damned means to be arrested. See, God really has no power in our society anymore... the "moral majority" has the power, Congress has the power; the Judiciary has the power; Law Enforcement has the power; and the powers specify: DO NOT USE CANNABIS. If you do you are damned.

So do you really want to be damned???

Look at the woman next to you and consider how she suffers a double damn because she ate the apple first, and seduced Adam to eat next. The result: Our society today full of sinners, deviants, druggies, pedophiles, child abusers, spouse abusers, pornography, independent thinkers and corrupt politicians; the list is endless. All because of Eve.

Well Adams of today - if you don't want to live a cursed life I suggest you do what our Lord Government tells you to do. Pay your taxes; be thankful you don't live in China; don't screw around unless you have the balls like certain pro golfers, NY politicians, etc.; and especially, unless you're wealthy or a company CEO, don't smoke pot.

It's 2010 and the message is clear: "Don't Rock The Boat", unless you can afford it. Tow the line, be good doobies and do what you're told by your superiors in gov't. The US Constitution is a dead manuscripts written by humans who no longer exist and our current gods in politics know much more today about what and how we should live than way back in 1776. Thank you to Tea Partiers and their influence in recent elections...

Darth Vader returns...

Death to dissidents and potheads. A return to right-wing values and a strict code of conduct. The only way to succeed as a nation is to do what we're told, accept our position in the hierarchy we were born into.

Cheers! All. The age of the machine is upon us and the mark of the beast is on our foreheads. Do Not Fight It! Do Not Question Authority. Do Not Look Back at the Chaos of the 1960's and 1970's...

We live in a NEW AGE of PROSPERITY. Trust in Wall Street. (New currency now being printed says just that: "In Wall Street We Trust")

I now return you to your original programming... on the count of 3 you will forget you were here... until the next time...

1... 2.... 3

November 13, 2010

Confessions of a Tobacco Addict: TREATISE OF A CANNABINOID VAMPIRE!

Three weeks today this body has gone without tobacco.

Despite pressure from the "powers who thrive" - PWT, on tobacco sales, I'm JUST SAYING NO!

That doesn't mean I said said "no" in time. I have medical tests due to determine if I have cancer and or COPD. No question I can't breathe right, and I cough a lot. No question I have limited energy, loss of cognitive ability, and lack of motivation, compared to just 5 years ago.

The "Good News"... I don't use cannabis!!!

Why is that good news... you got me. I never had problems with cannabis... in fact, I thrived using small amounts of it.

But my state and federal government say I'm better off. To die by alcohol or tobacco use are acceptable actions. To enjoy life and even prosper by use of cannabis is felonious.

Therefore... introducing, BobKat, a cannabinoid vampire dying from lak of cannabis, and as far as my government is concerned - so be it!

I have alcohol and tobacco to use instead... both virtually unregulated. Both quite easily deadly. Both killing me.

But I'm not using cannabis... and that's a very good thing!!!


Get real America... you're not free if you can't use a plant provided by God that you feel is beneficial but unavailable because a government is infected by the Devil into believing the most dangerous plants and drugs are okay, but the less harmless and more beneficial ones aren't.

As the Rolling Stones said: "Goddamn the Pusherman", and our own gov't is that... they PUSH, their favorite.

Cannabis is mocked by government, and blacklisted... why?

Special Interests. No question. Research and science do not support strict regulation against cannabis. The Obama Presidency proclaimed that science would trump politics. The truth is... that is not what happened.

Just more of the same.

3 weeks without tobacco... 5 years without sex or cannabis... the latter wasn't an issue after a day. the former... i will suffer the rest of my life.

Tobacco addiction is certain and it is HELL. My gov't has no power to change that because they benefit from tobacco taxes. They benefit from cannabis prohibition. Win/Win... for my gov't.

Loose/Loose for me.

I'm NOT a ZOMBIE! I am a vampire... I want my cannabis... but I see that despite many years where I benefited from use of cannabis, it's not in my future to die happy. I have two choices: alcohol or tobacco.

No thanks to either.

And may I add - Fuck You my government for your practice of politics over science. I'm not an idiot... I have 3 college degrees... I know the truth. I know you're "messing with me"...

President Obama - you said science would trump politics... well when???

I demand redress of actions directed against me that are in violation of my US Constitutional Rights to my Pursuit of Happiness, in the time I have left to me. I demand either you commit me to a federal, mental health prison for activists that don't abide by your rules, or an exclusion from your draconian rules that have no basis in reality.

I demand you send your hitmen to force me to conform to your unscientific rules, so that i can be extracted and confined to US equiv. of the British - "The Prisoner"... where every day of my remaining life is organized and regulated by drugs that remove my innate sense of self.


Does anyone give a shit? Or are we all so passive as to be sheep herded by gov't shepherds?

I have no confusion as to why our society has become much more violent. But despite my extensive education and experience no one cares for my opinion. I am a cannabinoid vampire... I am not human. I used cannabis, and that made me an alien.

Good luck humanity. California just voted 46 - 54 % to legalize cannabis, yet nearly every politician spent millions opposing passage of the prop. Why?

Because America today is not about the US Constituition and Bill of Rights, it's about politics,  and special interests - preservation of alcohol and tobacco and other big business... lobbies, and face it, cannabis may have the popular vote, but it's a threat to the aforementioned interests, and subject to 70 + years of negative propaganda.

Ultimately I will probably start smoking tobacco again. I can buy unlimited quantities in most stores... I will continue to drink alcohol, same reason. My life will fail. Like many other lives have failed. Because we are not free to use what God provides for us, yet we spend money with proclaims - "IN GOD WE TRUST".


I am happy to say my early 20's made my life worth living. 4 short years 1974 - 1978. If my gov't knew how much I prospered, how happy I was and how often I had intimate relations, they would have removed me from society as a dissident. Fortunately it was the 70's and Nixon was president, followed by Pres. Carter. They were too busy with millions of "dissidents". Kind of like China today.

Life sucks if you're a politician... God... how to continue to harass and make criminals out of cannabis users, support zero tolerance laws against drug use, yet encourage use of alcohol and tobacco to balance state budgets to arrest and destroy deviants that prefer cannabis over a drink or smoke. Damn. I am glad I am not a politician!

To make it clear... those 18 years old you can use the drug called tobacco all you want. It will most likely kill you and will provide very little benefit.

To those 21 and older, you can use any amount of alcohol. It will provide some benefit if you stay under one or two drinks a day, but beyond that, it will kill you.

To those wishing to use cannabis with literally zero health hazards, although psychologically addictive, you risk many violations of state and federal laws... depending on where you live. Cannabis is not covered by the "In God We Trust" motto of the USA... the federal gov't, the Fed judiciary and the DEA trump GOD.

You may not use, grow, possess, sell, maintain your health using cannabis. It is not just illegal, it is activily pursued and prosecuted by state and local govt'. Crimes such as rape, murder, kidnapping, abuse are probably safer alternatives to cannabis use. The rule of thumb - "Potheads are the vampires of our society".

November 09, 2010

TRAIL OF BOBKAT - Confessions of a Tobacco Addict; Part Two

Edited Nov. 10; 8PM
Edited Nov. 11; 11PM

Had two visitors today.

Black suit coats, black pants, white shirt and black tie. They flashed a badge at me and walked in... pushed their way in...

They offered me a cigarette, but I refused. I said: "I have quit".

They questioned me for several hours after that... smoking cigarette after cigarette in front of me. Exhaling the smoke in my face. "Why did I not want to smoke tobacco," they asked? "Why was I spreading rumors that tobacco was harmful?" "Was I aware that tobacco was a 'commodity' and that spreading false rumors about a legal commodity such as tobacco was against the law?"

Then they started in on me about cannabis... they call it marijuana, based on horror films from the 1930's. "Why was I advocating for legalization of marijuana?"

"I'm not", I explained, "not marijuana anyways; as I explained, "that's what political degenerates called it in horror movies from the 30's. Did they mean cannabis, or ganja?"

They both shook their heads. They had a blank look of confusion. One of them asked the other, "what now?"

One of the men stood up and pulled out a gun - a big gun; a handgun with a bore of at least 420 mm... he said, "this is the weapon of choice for cannabinoid assassins... give me one reason why we shouldn't rid society of your existence?"

I looked into the 420mm bore of the cannon that was a big and dark as a black hole. I knew I would soon be sucked into it. I knew because that's nature. But I used my brain...

I thought for a moment, and responded, "The Governor of CA, Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "who cares about a joint? "

"That's true, the partner said... really, who cares?"

But the guy holding the gun starred at me and said..." you know, you think you're pretty smart. But you know what else?"

"What I asked?"

"Marijuana will never be legal like alcohol and tobacco because nobody cares! You want to be a man - you should smoke tobacco, you should drink, you should *uck. Live like a man should live. End of story. Now will it be a bullet of a cigarette?"

I asked for the bullet. I'm an American born citizen, with Constitutional Rights. If I'm to be deprived of those rights, by my government or representative of my gov't, I'll take the bullet.

So I told him, honestly, "I'd rather smoke rat poop! Bring it on!"

IT HAS BEEN Two and a half weeks without using tobacco... and I'm still struggling ... delirious, stif neck, headache, intestinal distress, you name it. Not only is nicotine extremely addictive, but not even God knows what the tobacco industry adds to tobacco. The FDA doesn't know. That's a fact! Deities!!!

Trying to make up for it with my wit and imagination.

I'm suppose, to accept that this government is fair and unbiased when they TAX people for use of unlimited amounts of alcohol and tobacco, yet laugh and mock persons who find cannabis safer and more theraputic -  they not only believe in their logic and justification, harass generally harmless citizens, but they perpetuate the idea that cannabis is dangerous to support the status quo.

To hell with "Pursuit of Happiness" is the result...

The American Public is not a bunch of idiots however, so please, don't treat US as such.

Grant me disability, if you want to silence me, because I smoked a joint once, and William Bennett said that act would make me a a victim. All I ask for is a government funded retirement, as I obviously know the truth about your special interest politics and will shut up if you simply give me a government sponsored retirement ad I can forget everything I know. Or you can "eliminate me", except, to do that would be stupid as i am rather high profile based on several missing persons cases I've helped with.

Witness protection... a new life, and I'll shut up.

The alternative... I am smart enough to undermine your whole matrix... It Is A "MATRIX".

The truth is out there... and 46% of Californian's know it... and an equal part of the world knows that, so stop fooling yourself.

We built a wall against Mexico, not because of any terrorist threats, but because of cannabis. Accept it! Our great country is suffering delusions... building a multi-million $$ wall against "terroricism" from Mexico, while if anything, we're encourage terrorists to switch from havens like Afghanistan to Mexico.

The 9/11 terrorists did not arrive from Mexico, but rather our own points of entry, and Canada. Drug cartels are in Mexico, yes, but what does that have to do with the "Bush - Axis of Evil"... ?

I thought we were defending the US from terrorists, fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?

Instead... under the guise of "extreme need" WE escalate cannabis prohibition by building a wall between us and Mexico, that accomplishes nothing other than to block wildlife from their natural environments.

We hear Washington Talk about Terrorists on the border of Mexico??? Just where are the BOMBS coming from, of late? Yemen??? Cannabis comes from Mexico, so why the GREAT WALL???

It's an embarrassment. A total embarrassment.

Exactly how much do politicians get in pay-offs from the cartels in Mexico and other parts of the world to fund this stupid, misleading charade???

The following two links tell it all:

"Who Cares About A Joint" - Gov. Schwarzenegger..

The Most Dangerous Recreational Drug?

November 06, 2010

TRAIL OF BOBKAT - Confessions of a Tobacco Addict; Part One

It's been two weeks now without smoking tobacco.

To many that may not mean much, but to others, it does. Ironically with tobacco "we're given a choice". Pay the tax, smoke it. Kill yourself. To those who never indulged, you're fortunate. Tobacco is bad stuff.

I have struggled with tobacco addiction since around age 16. From 40 years ago.

I've quit before,  for as long as 3 years, twice... a year or more a couple other times... and always i told myself this was it - the end. But always, the "fix" was everywhere around me, advertising, and state taxes depending on cigarettes being sold. They kill people, and they'll contribute to my death, even though once again I've quit.

2 Weeks Now...

Tobacco truly is a schedule one type drug... the true form of such a drug... but it can't be outlawed, any more than alcohol can be.

I saw my doctor yesterday due to a cough... I have chronic bronchitis, and am going for tests for COPD.

In my early 20's I would have gladly dropped tobacco if cannabis was legal. Today, because each plant is different, and tobacco just happens to be one of the most unhealthy, I'd be pretty healthy if I'd been able to smoke a little pot rather than have a pack or two a day habit for tobacco.

Prohibitive laws are mostly political, not for public safety. The science behind which "drugs" are legal and which aren't is often not based on any science. And no two plants are a like - except for basics like anything burned creates CO (carbon monoxide). Plant tars are a science of itself... no two plants have the same chemistry/tars and the effects of each is different.

It just so happens tobacco is one of the worst plants to use, let alone be addicted to it. Cannabis is one of the safest, but one of the most illegal.

My doctor asked me, considering the rapid success to my not smoking tobacco, if I had cravings for tobacco? I told him no. The reasons:

1) My housemate grossed me out after my other HM dropped a cigarette under her desk, 4 days into my cessation, he found it first and knowing how much it might mean to me, he offered it to me. After he stuck it up his nose.

2) In a previous post I wrote about "K2" type cannabis substitutes that are being marketed. I had said No to them. Well, now I'm saying yes. Compared to the alternative, smoke tobacco, can't get cannabis, "K2 Type" quality smoking products are worth buying; not addictive, herbal in form and mostly safe to use. They get you slightly high, but mostly it's simply pleasant to smoke.

In life we have to make choices. Sometimes we can actually accomplish our goal. Other times, for whatever reason it doesn't work out, or it only works for awhile. For myself  I've always wanted to understand the choices I make, but am at the same time pummeled by opinions and do-gooders that feel they know better.

Yes... this is my autobiography. It is that because I can't pretend to be an entertainer or journalist. I am a writer... and that's what i'm going to do. Write.

It's all fiction... and what? Do you think I'd write the truth about my life? Ironically, though truth is stranger than fiction, fiction based on truth is stranger than life. The reason is, our advanced cognitive abilities creates a paradox of expression, like how do we "be ourselves" if being ourselves means to admit we do things questionable by "society"? Our advanced tools and means of communication make it obvious we are to share... but share what?

If you're within the embrace of the culture - married, with children, college degrees, and "normal" lifestyle, you win. If you're outside of that region, you play the game. Nobody that I know enjoys playing games to survive, but that the way it is. And that is the where of where this autobiography is going to.

I give this country a grade of A for protecting our 1st Amendment rights. I also give Henry V. Miller, recognition and credit for making that a reality... for confronting the right wing extremists who felt they had a legal right to dictate morality and freedom of speech.

The early 20th century was extraordinarily interesting... an interest of mine, let's say.

And the vote of 46% - 54% to legalize cannabis in CA was a victory. After 70+ years of extreme propaganda and ruined lives over a plant that is primarily beneficial, to have 46% of the population of such a large state vote YES, is very significant. I would have been happy with 33%.

To understand my autobiography, you need to understand I'm one of those people that was transformed in a very positive way when introduced to cannabis. I was also one of those people most strongly opposed to it. It makes me wonder if I had been a kid around age 16 in Germany, 1938, if by 1940 I wouldn't have deserted the German Army and gone underground working for the resistance?

What side are you on??? Would you turn your neighbor in for offering you cannabis? Would you see that as similar to murdering your neighbor? Do you see how tobacco, not cannabis, is killing millions of people? Do you see how to make a decision we need the facts?

My autobiography will be anything but boring...

Whether I'm dead tomorrow or 50 years from now (106), my life is my life, and I've not hurt anyone, nor any soul.

I pray I'm alive when cannabis is legal... when terrorists like Eric Holder who threaten the citizens of CA if they vote in a way he doesn't like is gone... good riddance. Our political system is broken... because, We The People don't make the decisions... in many cases, special interests do. A 46-54 % vote to legalize cannabis in CA should be a wakeup call to Washington, and Pres. Obama. You can have your "War on Drugs", Just Leave Cannabis Out of IT!!!

Thanks for visiting...

November 03, 2010

CA PROP 19 - The Success of Failure From Public Nemesis #1 to a CA Vote of 46 - 54 %...

THE Success of Failure is with Prop 19 in California is mind-bending. How can such a "dangerous drug as marijuana" be endorsed and even procure 46% of CA voters approval? Since 1937 and the Marijuana Tax Act", passed by the US congress to save Americans from the most dangerous drug of all time, in 2010 there seems to be a crack in the Federal Govt's case against cannabis. Not the least of which is that cannabis, known today as marijuana, didn't exist prior to the 1930's, except in Mexico.

Today WE talk and vote on "legalizing marijuana", and it didn't exist until that historic and bogus Tax Act.

Americans call it ganja, and I have the documentation, have posted it, to prove it. Fact being... you can't make war against US citizens over something that has no basis in American history. To do so is unconstitutional, it's a "sting", it's making citizens appear in a place that doesn't exist for the purpose of subjecting them to illegal actions. Laws that violate their right to "Pursuit of Happiness"...

Prop 19 had one major flaw... it's not "marijuana", that's what they call it in Mexico. And I really don't know how many more times i will need to clarify that to honor the history of the United States of America. The proof in the injustice wrought by cannabis prohibition is evident in the name of the bill that made cannabis a prohibited plant... and that is by not making what we Americans called it illegal, but rather by what Mexican's called it.

Wake up people... it's "shadows and mirrors"....

I've been asking the questions for 30+ years about legalizing cannabis... I knew the chance that California's Prop 19 would pass was doubtful. Could always be hopeful, but I know, the very people that enjoy using it and think nothing of it, when asked, will come back with an instinctive - "No Way - It's illegal... I shouldn't be legal, and then in the next breath, well, yes, it's better than drinking or smoking tobacco".

Actually I can be happy Prop 19 didn't pass in CA. Why? Because after 70+ years of this bullshit, that would have been far too easy, after all we people have been through ... if you know what I mean. Think, having the legal right to eat a tomato.

Despite a hugely successful and affective propaganda scam for 70+ years attempting to make cannabis the devil's weed, Prop 19 failed by only a slim number of votes: 54 to 46. The "failed" vote for prop 19 in CA was a victory...

To:  "Gil Kerlikowske's, two-sentence statement on Proposition 19: "Today, Californians recognized that legalizing marijuana will not make our citizens healthier, solve California’s budget crisis, or reduce drug related violence in Mexico. The Obama Administration has been clear in its opposition to marijuana legalization because research shows that marijuana use is associated with voluntary treatment admissions for addiction, fatal drugged driving accidents, mental illness, and emergency room admissions."

Ah, No Gil... you really are desperate to keep your job.

The vote doesn't show or suggest that's how Americans think. It shows nearly half of Americans believe cannabis should be legal, and they don't believe your friggin' crap.

God acts in mysterious ways, and maybe, WE just prevented corporate America from securing rights to growing cannabis for sale and taxation. Maybe, we said NO to corporate America, and Yes, to We The People.

This close vote on Prop 19 should be a wake-up call to Washington... that you're naked when it comes to prohibition of cannabis.

The following link is an example: Alcohol is more dangerous than heroin;   "Alcohol: More Dangerous Than Heroin", Credit: MSNBC

I really didn't want to move to California anyways...


November 01, 2010

I'M ON VENUS... or I WAS...

BobKat to Earth...

Hrrrrrrraagaaaeggggg. whattttttttttttttever...

INEED A CIGARETTE!!!!... I'm being held hostage. Must Help,

DISREGARD... No don't disssssssssssss.....


And reference this article found here:

They'll say i'm insane... I'll be dragged awy... loose my job... my car... my life... I become a DOLL. Gone.

Yeah, the article above as I am PRESENTLY loosing control over my blogger options...

A week without a cigarette...


Tomorrow... PROP 19 - THE GREEN, from the state of California, and the batlle lines are drawn, and poised...

ERIC HOLDER - US Attorney General: vows to ... "SAN FRANCISCO — Attorney General Eric Holder is warning that the federal government will not look the other way, as it has with medical marijuana, if voters next month make California the first state to legalize pot.

Marijuana is illegal under federal law, which drug agents will "vigorously enforce" against anyone carrying, growing or selling it, Holder said. you can read it here:

I've been saying all along the crimes, are not real... the penalties, are not always correct... the victims are many...