Welcome to John Miller's Fictitious, April Fool's Day party.
The sign at the door says - NO HARD DRUGS ALLOWED!!!
I've just arrived at the party ... And a big, muscular gal, big enough to be a bouncer, stands at the door in a pink cocktail dress, holding a lemon. I wasn't sure about - why a lemon?
A brief argument ensues as the couple in front of me brought cigarettes and beer...
"Sorry", the bouncer says... "No hard drugs."
"What?" the guy exclaims! "Well that's stupid. It's legal in case you didn't know... " He swears and shows obvious signs of alcoholism and instability... obvious he's had a few already, same with his girlfriend who grows visibly impatient..
"There's a bar down the street," the bouncer explains.
She smiled, being friendly, but the guy's girlfriend thought she was winking and flirting. The thought of no beer drove her crazy and she tried to take a swing at Nancy. The lemon juice caught the girlfriend right on target, and in both eyes.
Ouch, ouch! The couple left, swerving away at high speed down the road...
Jerks, I thought. I knew the rules... they were on the invitation.
I was let right inside. I gave Nancy a tip... of my hat.
Inside the party the air was thick with reefer smoke, incense, and the smell of good food... chocolate cakes, cookies, and KFC*. Bob Dylan music (and I think I saw him), Tom Petty, Pink Floyd... I ate some... had a cup of tea...
It wasn't long before I was stoned... with about 30 other people... there were a couple of senators, a judge, two off-duty cops, an attorney, several doctors, a couple nurses, a cook, two custodians, several laid-off auto workers, a gypsy, a comedian, a Romulan... then suddenly, it didn't matter anymore...
I sat down at a table with several different people smoking purple starlight from a hookah. They were discussing the hugh DEB raid in Northern California... after the drug czar ordered all federal troops to swoop in and arrest or kill as many pot smoking, 21st century hippies, they could find. They began with those who held medical marijuana cards...
The DEB had planned this for years... 70 years to be exact... being stoned some parts of the story went harmlessly off - not registering. Some stuff caught my attention, like I got caught up in a discussion about how this would not only increase the violence and the moral message about how "drugs are bad, but put fear into the populous... it would increase desire for alcohol and tobacco - increased taxes, and result in less stoners.
A Zombie Round-up...
Yeah... okay... I moved on... it is common for such discussions when persons smoke cannabis. And the discussions generally migrate towards peaceable solutions, or frustration that it's a lost cause. Either way, generally, the discussion moves on, to other topics, and later maybe, people get creative.
From there I got up, ate some more, and saw three attractive women sitting on a couch, passing a joint. I walked over, asked, "may I join you?" a couple smiled, then the woman on the right moved over a bit... "sit here", she said. I did...
The police did eventually arrive... surrounded the place and threatened to tear-gas the house. Then they got word there was KFC* inside...So they asked Nancy, the big gal with the lemon if they could come in and have some KFC*?
Nancy made sure they had no hard drugs...and made them leave their guns at the coat-room.
The police investigated, using talents that amazed me as they zeroed in on the KFC*...along the way they tested out a few of the other amenities. They ate all the KFC... and left.
It turned out to be a great party... everyone got along.
April Fools !!!
KFC* is my thanks to Comedy Central's, "South Park " - March 31, 2010... I laughed my ass off !!!