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A lair is a home; A castle; A burrow; A haven; a place where one should feel safe. To ensure our safety especially in one's lair, we have laws. And some laws cause more harm than good!

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My goal is here... to present topics which highlight the plight of people. Why, 2000 years after Caesar Augustus, are we still a people being hurt? With all our advancements in technology, medicine, communications, why are we a people still being hurt? Human nature hasn't changed much, but that doesn't mean it isn't time now for that to happen, and it is undoubtedly happening - hard to see however. This blog is part of that change and a witness to it.


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April 27, 2011


Catch-up for a Wednesday night. The title of this post isn't particularly relevant to anything that follows. I thought about the title "Whispering In The Grapevines", too. Another possible title: Why Have a Personal Blog?", but I've already touched upon that question in an earlier post. So the title I chose is the title, but the subjects are numerous.

1) Hate Crimes: God I dislike people getting hurt, especially for being different. Like any of us are the same, really? Are we? Ahh, but the "same", like having similar ideals, "correct" skin-color, proper gender, acceptable religious and ethnic roots, politically correct religious beliefs, and stance on politics. To some people, differences mean hate. A lot of HATE!

In the news today, perhaps the last news I'll ever read, was an article about a mid-west homeowner who happens to be gay - quietly gay. But a nice guy and known around town. He had 7 horses, and a shoal, there was a young horse, less than a year old, and another on it's way. This man loved his horses. And all of them were murdered, burned when someone who spray-painted hateful graffiti against gays on the side of the barn, managed to set a fire in the barn, and barricade the doors so the homeowner and horse-master couldn't open them. All the horses died.

Revenge against a man who is gay. Horribly tragic and senseless.

But hardly rare for our kind. But I have to wonder why? Why can we as a species be so caring, helpful and kind, and yet others, so hateful, prejudice and narrow-minded?

I grew up under the threat of the Ku Klux Klan... and no I'm not black. I'm quite white, like a WASP. It's that being born in 1954 the Klan was very active and feared, even by whites. See, like the mafia, you didn't joke about them, you didn't ask questions, and you certainly did not take sides opposed to a power if it existed in your town. And from what I grew up knowing, the Klan was around our town.

Well, see, some might think I'm diseased or mentally impaired... when I admit I've never understood hate, prejudice, or narrow-mindedness. I do know growing up I was subject to a lot of pressure to believe those things. Early in my teens I started to believe them... say around 1967... while in High School, I began to feel "hate" towards "drug users". I felt no hate towards the assholes that bullied me, just fear. But drug users... I was straight as an arrow then and the idea that people became addicted to marijuana and it led to hard drugs that led to crime, well, it angered me.

By the time I graduated from HS, I was ready to join the DEA (The Dream Enforcement Administration) which is covered in a previous post.By age 18 I was drinking some, usually getting sick after two beers, smoking tobacco (dungweed), a virgin, and with absolutely ZERO self-awareness, nor idea what life was all about, except I hated "druggies".

I didn't particularly love nature either, secretly believed Blacks were inferior, didn't like women (something going back to age 7 when my mother "forced" me to not hang around with my sister and friends, Ann and Julie. My friends too. She was afraid I'd grow up gay.

Essentially, at age 18, changing my name to Dexter, sounded pretty accurate, looking back. Dexter as in ShowTimes hugely popular serial killer series.

But before I get to what happened to change all that, let me get to my 2nd topic:

2) I'm pretty much an isolationist these days... there were many years I wasn't, like when I lived in Boston.But over time, the things that happened to me, the things said, the whole life experience dragged me down. Through the "grapevine" I heard, I know friends of mine read my blog. They don't join or follow, probably afraid being as my blog has many controversial topics posted. I could assure them they live in a "Free Country" and it's not against the law to read my blog and follow, but it'd do no good.

See I've learned over time being different, or unique in the way one thinks, is admirable, but don't expect the free-thinking will earn points in the local group. Take my Poker topic, last post... "My Problem", according to what I heard. Cannabis prohibition, again, "My Problem".

Like I have this problem, "nobody else does", nobody they know.So it's My Problem. Another friend told me directly, god, what's the point of "ranting online"? Nobody cares, and you only look radical.

Another says: "You need to find God". Another, "For as many sites you post that support legalizing drugs, 100 times that support the War on Drugs". Another, "believe what you want, but gays, blacks, and Jews are what's wrong with the world".

I get sick of it. All the hate and narrow-mindedness.

Fact is Poker is not illegal to play, and cannabis doesn't kill people.

At age 19 I got high on cannabis for the first time, and it changed my life... opened my eyes and heart to the beauty and vastness of life... to nature, and people and animals and I felt love for the first time.

At age 50 I discovered online Poker. I found I could save hundreds of dollars that I had wasted on lottery games of chance, and even my doctors encouraged me - as at age 50 we start to have cognitive difficulties, and the challenge playing poker with people all around the world, strengthened my mind, exercised it and was a cheap way to unwind.

Millions of people have been affected in bad ways to the prohibition of cannabis, and recently to the DOJ attack on online poker sites that I am confident will be found to be innocent, and which coincidentally freed up hundreds of thousands of players loyal to these three sites, to play at new state run casinos, the most recent of which was legalized in Washington DC, not two weeks ago.

As for it being My Problem... hardly. I'm not gay, but no way do I consider what happened to that midwest horse owner to be simply HIS PROBLEM. It's OUR PROBLEM... and the whole purpose of my blog is to enlighten people to STOP THE HURT!!!


  1. What would you say is the most accurate term to describe the effects marijuana had on you at age 19?

    1) Altered Reality
    2) An Awakening!
    3) Altered Consciousness
    4) Enlightenment

    What's the difference between your anger and hate with "druggies"? As compared to today - your feelings towards "hateful, prejudice and narrow-minded people"? Do you feel the same "hate" you felt when you were younger?

    Well written post - difficult subject.

  2. Enlightenment, without a doubt. #1. And an awakening. With regard to an altered state, I don't think cannabis is a drug in the way one would think of it being powerful enough to alter one's mind. That is part of the myth, that cannabis can alter a person's mind.

    My anger now is one more of sadness, not hatred. In HS I felt scared, scared to go to school, scared to be myself, scared of failing. I "hated druggies" because I was taught to hate drugs, illicit ones and those who use them.

    When I learned the truth, that I'd been lied to, that cannabis was not only not dangerous, but also not a "stepping stone" to addiction, I felt betrayed. I guess you could say I became aware that one must be careful what they believe that they've been told.

    I simply feel sadness that there is so much "hurt" in the world, and lies.

  3. Thanks for the kind comments over at my blog Bob. I am trying to get back into the swing of things.

    Also, I stink at poker online or traditional.