Welcome to BobKat's Lair ®


A lair is a home; A castle; A burrow; A haven; a place where one should feel safe. To ensure our safety especially in one's lair, we have laws. And some laws cause more harm than good!

This is a good place. There's lots to see and do. It's apolitical while providing non-partisan news about politics, which we can't escape.

Regarding compliance with EU standards, I use no cookies, tracking devices or programs or other personal devices that may be banned in other countries. I will note however that my blog is hosted by Google and I am not responsible for any of that.

My goal is here... to present topics which highlight the plight of people. Why, 2000 years after Caesar Augustus, are we still a people being hurt? With all our advancements in technology, medicine, communications, why are we a people still being hurt? Human nature hasn't changed much, but that doesn't mean it isn't time now for that to happen, and it is undoubtedly happening - hard to see however. This blog is part of that change and a witness to it.


My blog is dedicated to my family, friends, mentors, and all others whom I am grateful to, and love(d).


Please view my Blog using the latest version of your browser. Some features may not be active if Java or Flash is disabled or not installed, or your browser is not compatible with Google Blog.


NOTE: Nothing included in my Blog is intended to advocate behavior illicit in nature, or in violation of man-made laws where harm to a living person, animal or the environment is involved. Person's under 17 probably shouldn't be here, though there is far worse out there. Just saying.


NOTE: Adding a comment to my Posts is easy and also encouraged, no matter what your point of view is.

Here's How:

If no comments have been posted you simply click on "No Comments" which is high-lighted. If comment(s) have been left it will indicate how many, click on that link. Enter comment.

Please do not include links to other websites or blogs in your comments without prior approval from the site administrator, me. The comment will be deleted.


Bobkat's Lair is a registered trademark® : ©2009-2018

Please Note: The Blog, with the Trademark "BobKat's Lair" is legally registered and under US law cannot be used without my express permission.The name, my nickname, BobKat is inclusive in that Trademark. In addition, all material produced by me is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced, used in business or monetary agreements, disseminated; it may be used for your own purposes as long as there are no monetary gains of which I am not notified. You are welcome to post links of my content. with the disclosure that this material is trademarked and copyrighted by "BobKat's Lair".


Petitions by|Start a Petition »


January 24, 2010

If Men are from Mars, Women Venus, then... Part Two

lovers -rajunasrefuge

In Part One I described a scenario - where within the battle between the sexes I don't fit in. That the battle itself will never really be resolved. That unlike attitudes regarding ethnicity, country of origin and religion, there will always be unsolved differences between the sexes. There is no question that men and women have physical differences. It's when we get into the psychology of the differences that we get into a complicated, complex mess.

It is simply not valid to say "all men are pigs" and women are "sugar and spice and all things nice".  That is a generaliztion, that has no basis in reality. Yet many, believe it to be true.


About Me:

My life started off exceptionally good. When I was born in 1954 my father was in the Navy. They lived in NJ, Tom's River. My dad and my mom loved me for all it was worth. And my dad's future looked quite promising... his father was president of a prestigious business located in NYC, and my father would most likely follow in his footsteps. Only he didn't... my grand-father died of a heart attack at 54, and an aunt, his wife, had no interest in my grand-father's side of the family, ie, my dad, so that quickly put to rest any hopes my father may have had.

We moved back to my mother's town. Where her mostly Swedish family lived. I'm 50% Swedish. It's my father's side where I get some interesting genes... French, Dutch, Bohemian, German...

The town I grew up in was once voted an "All American City". It had many brick paved roads, modest sized homes, quaint yards, many parks and businesses. I was fortunate!


I have a sister a year and a half younger than me. From around the age of 5, I remember hanging out with my sister and two of her friend's, Julie and Ann. They were my friends, and we had other friends in the neighborhood too. I remember singing the song "Row, row, row your boat..." playing "Mother May I", and Hop Scotch... idyllic days...

I was probably around 6 or 7 year's old when my mother became concerned. She was afraid if I continued to hang out with my sister and her friends, I would become gay. So she proceeded to manipulate my life to get me more involved with other boys in the neighborhood. Her rational was ludicrous, but the end result ultimately may have been good...  on the other hand, most likely i would have found my own way to other friends - male and female. But what stuck in my mind was the fact I was not suppose to hang out with females.


Fast forwards 14 years...

The goal of this post, this series, is to show how stereotypes, male, female are misunderstood. Somehow, as far as i can tell, I grew up with a perspective of the sexes quite different, yet right on as far as equality of the sexes was ideological. I was ahead of my time...


I moved out on my own at 18. I couldn't wait to get out, away from family rules and conditions... I move into the upstairs set of an apartments of an old Horse-stables converted into apartments. The college campus is my back-yard. I sell my car, and my life begins...

I am working at the time towards an Associates degree, at the local community college; that was begun while I still lived at home with my parents. I'd had two girlfriends by then... the first, in 8th grade, lasting a full week that seemed like years, her name was Brenda. Then, around 17, I was introduced to Diane. We lasted 3 years or so, but it wasn't great in any respect. I was still a virgin. I lost that with a woman, a total stranger, at a NY State Park while several of us male friends went camping... interesting in that it happened that way... tragic in that it wasn't with a woman I knew, that if I know what I know now, we could have had a much better experience. But the fact is... in our society, sex is taboo...


At 20 my family expected I'd get married soon. It was also expected I'd graduate from the community college and get a job teaching, or go on and get a higher degree. I did neither.

I got a job as a custodian at the community college; I dumped Diane; and I met Sue. The job as a custodian at the community college was the best thing that ever happened... in my Favorite Books Section of my blog, I list "R is for Rocket"... it's because of this book, the short story called "Frost and Fire", that I went this route. It was a most unique turn of events...

Unfortunately... I was about to face my roots... where "blood is thicker than water..." Family is suppose to come first... and as the now adult bird takes flight... to experience the world... the family has a surprise.

Next time... "Family dinner, two o'clock... this Sunday"... be there.

Image source:

1 comment:

  1. An interesting story in how you became the person you are today. I had to laugh about the hanging out with too many girls at a young age might make you gay--I think it just would mean that you'd know more about hair products than the next guy.

    Actually, my parents wished I would have been able to say one sensible sentence in front of a girl growing up--hanging out with them would never have happened for this introvert. Fortunately, I changed.