Welcome to BobKat's Lair ®


A lair is a home; A castle; A burrow; A haven; a place where one should feel safe. To ensure our safety especially in one's lair, we have laws. And some laws cause more harm than good!

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My goal is here... to present topics which highlight the plight of people. Why, 2000 years after Caesar Augustus, are we still a people being hurt? With all our advancements in technology, medicine, communications, why are we a people still being hurt? Human nature hasn't changed much, but that doesn't mean it isn't time now for that to happen, and it is undoubtedly happening - hard to see however. This blog is part of that change and a witness to it.


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January 23, 2010


L'Amoureux Tarot Card

If "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus"... then I have a question.



I really don't "fit in". I don't.  Oh, but it's not what you may be thinking... that I have typical issues with women, relationships, etc. I don't. Or I do, but that's to be seen... I do share and recognize most of the typical issues that men and women have, but I am fortunate in that I have a unique experience to share.


The basics: Physically, it's generally easy to identify males from females by their physical appearance. I do find it fascinating that historically men and women have gone to unusual lengths to disguise themselves as their opposite sex. This was most notable during the period of the American Civil War and before... cases of women posing as men to become sea-faring pirates, for example. Women joining the ranks of the Confederate or Union soldiers... But psychologically, it's not at all that simple. There are vast variables in what makes a man and a woman...

To add fuel to the debate, unlike racial issues, sexual identity is one of the most complicated identity issues we face... when considering the simple fact that women didn't have the right to vote until August 26, 1920, which was granted in the Nineteenth Amendment, it's no surprise we are still confused about the battle between the sexes. It's a futile battle, in many ways, one that I doubt will ever be resolved... unlike skin color, religion, national origin, our sex that we are born with is a "fixture". Some can restart their lives with a sex-change to a more natural preference, but many can't.

And many of us feel we are exactly who we are... and that it is a fact, that essentially. men and women are from different planets. That the stereotypes, that we often take for granted, are correct. "Men are all "pigs" and women are "sugar and spice and all things nice".


I hate to shatter your reality, but the truth is far different. In the upcoming posts, I will show you why. And why will I do this? Well it's a long story... the story of my life in fact.

The catalyst is women I know, often remark about how odd it is I've never been married, have no children... that I'd make a great husband and father.  And I think I would, have, maybe will, still...

But the fact is, there's a price to pay when "thinking outside the box"... that price is to be "different". Some call it living at the "fringe". The theory... life is all in black and white - round peg/square peg. Lock-step. But it doesn't work... scandals such as those involving Tiger Woods; Presidential Candidate, John Edwards; President Bill Clinton; all suggest that human nature and our relationships are far more complex and complicated than what is generally summed up as a "norm".

I'm unusual... I'll grant you that... but not in the usual way...

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